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successful people try new things and take risks rather than doing what they already know how to do well v.1

successful people try new things and take risks rather than doing what they already know how to do well v. 1
Science is a systematic and unbiased study of truth. The current paradigm shift brought many bad habits to the society. Intake of junk food and unhealthy routine are some among them. People are reluctant to follow the good routine, even though studies tell which is good. This essay objectively analyses the possible causes and remedial measures of this trend. It is a fact that, unhealthy routines are the result of today’s paradigm shift. Nowadays, many a people are working couples so having junk foods are a daily routine. In addition to that, alcohol consumption and smoking are other bad habit people usually follow. People rationalize these behaviours by saying it as a stress relief because stress is the fruit of today’s fast life. Moreover, unhealthy daily routines are paving way to lifestyle diseases like obesity, cancer, heart attacks and health disorders. However, science imparted so many good methods to tide over these problems. Regular exercise, healthy food diet, medication, and the like are the remedial measures. Subsequent exercise is good routine which helps to overcome the diseases like obesity and blood pressure. Furthermore, everybody should follow a healthy diet and have homely foods are helpful to solve these health issues. Instead of consuming alcohol and smoking, society can depend on medication to tide over the stress. Thus, people can avoid manifold diseases. To recapitulate, inappropriate habits are become the part of todays daily life, however, science provides manifold measures to overcome this. Physical exercise, yoga are some among the remedial measures. It is expected that people will tide over the bad habits with the help of science.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is a systematic and unbiased study of truth. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
paradigm shift brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
to the society. Intake of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
among them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are reluctant to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
,
even though
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
. This essay
objectively
analyses the possible causes and remedial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
of this trend.

It is a fact that, unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routines
are the result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s paradigm shift. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
having junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are a daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
.
In addition
to that, alcohol consumption and smoking are other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
follow.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
rationalize these
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
by saying it as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is the fruit of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
life.
Moreover
, unhealthy daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routines
are paving way to lifestyle diseases like obesity, cancer, heart attacks and health disorders.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
imparted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
methods to tide over these problems. Regular exercise, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
diet, medication, and the like are the remedial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
. Subsequent exercise is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to overcome the diseases like obesity and blood pressure.
Furthermore
, everybody should follow a healthy diet and have homely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are helpful to solve these health issues.
Instead
of consuming alcohol and smoking, society can depend on medication to tide over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can avoid manifold diseases.

To recapitulate, inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
are become
the part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
daily life,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
provides manifold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to overcome this. Physical exercise, yoga are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
among the remedial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will tide over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay successful people try new things and take risks rather than doing what they already know how to do well v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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