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TPO 17 - Question 1Talk about a special opportunity that was given to you. Explain why the opportunity was important. v.1

TPO 17 - Question 1Talk about a special opportunity that was given to you. Explain why the opportunity was important. v. 1
These days the countries have been connected together more than ever were and the world became like one big country, thus tourism sharply increased over the years. So, some people think that this thing has many cons both to the environment and the local culture, while others believe that International tourism has many pros in many fields. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. On one hand, many people believe that International tourism has many disadvantages to local culture and nature, many citizens think that it can change the customs and habits of the local citizens. For example, when tourism travelled from many places around the world they bring their own habits and beliefs. However, that may cause some issues with the environment. So, that is why some think that international travellers are very bad for the local culture. On the other hand, those who consider International tourism has huge benefits in many various fields. They suppose this could be a big opportunity for different sectors. To illustrate, tourism increases the overall GDP of the economies and can be a very enormous chance to raise the annual GDP. In addition, it could be a solution to many problems in the country. For instance, this may increase the jobs and grow small businesses related to this part of the economy. Moreover, it could bring a very big investment from foreign investors. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that the positives of International tourism oversee the negatives.
These days the countries have
been connected
together more than ever were and the world became like one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
country,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sharply
increased over the years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this thing has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cons both to the environment and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture, while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture and nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the customs and habits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
travelled from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places around the world they bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
habits and beliefs.
However
, that may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues with the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.

On the other hand
, those who consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has huge benefits in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various fields. They suppose this could be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
opportunity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
increases the
overall
GDP of the economies and can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enormous chance to raise the annual GDP.
In addition
, it could be a solution to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in the country.
For instance
, this may increase the jobs and grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses related to this part of the economy.
Moreover
, it could bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
investment from foreign investors.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that the positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
oversee the negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 17 - Question 1Talk about a special opportunity that was given to you. Explain why the opportunity was important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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