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success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? how else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? v.2

success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? how else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? v. 2
Success is a very subjective phenomenon, as factors determining them vary. These days the amount of success gained by someone is often measured in terms of their financial gains. This essay will discuss that the monetary gains are the best measure of being successful in my opinion. One can also gauge about someone being accomplished in terms of them having a healthy family life. Money often defines the status and the level of accomplishment achieved by an individual. This is because it gives the ability to buy any materialistic things, for example; cars, bigger home, travelling various cities, etc. The possession of these things are some of the indicators of being highly successful in our society. Therefore, according to me, wealth is a great indicator of measuring someone's prosperity as it gives one the ability to buy worldly happiness. Although monetary status is an excellent factor, there are other aspects as well which can define if an individual is successful or not, like healthy family equations. Ultimately, human beings are social animals and they need to stay in close groups and interact with other human beings to experience mental happiness. For instance, a recent study by psychologists suggested that people staying in happy households tend to have 20% higher tendency of being accomplished. Hence, a healthy and a happy home is also one of the important factors to be considered in evaluating prosperity. To conclude, the definition of success cannot be same for each individual as everyone has a different perspective about it. This essay discussed that the bank-balance of a person is a very important factor to determine their prosperity as it gives them the capacity to buy worldly pleasures in my opinion. However, a happy domestic life is also an important aspect to evaluate their level of accomplishment.
Success is a
very
subjective phenomenon, as
factors
determining them vary. These days the amount of success gained by someone is
often
measured in terms of their financial gains. This essay will discuss that the monetary gains are the best measure of being successful in my opinion. One can
also
gauge about someone
being
accomplished in terms of them having a healthy family life.

Money
often
defines the status and the level of accomplishment achieved by an individual. This is
because
it gives the ability to
buy
any materialistic things,
for example
; cars, bigger home, travelling various cities, etc. The possession of these things are
some of the
indicators of being
highly
successful in our society.
Therefore
, according to me, wealth is a great indicator of measuring someone's prosperity as it gives one the ability to
buy
worldly happiness.

Although monetary status is an excellent
factor
, there are other aspects
as well
which can define if an individual is successful or not, like healthy family equations.
Ultimately
, human beings are social
animals and
they need to stay in close groups and interact with other human beings to experience mental happiness.
For instance
, a recent study by psychologists suggested that
people
staying in happy households tend to have 20% higher tendency of
being accomplished
.
Hence
, a healthy and a happy home is
also
one of the
important
factors
to
be considered
in evaluating prosperity.

To conclude
, the definition of success cannot be same for each individual as everyone has a
different
perspective about it. This essay discussed that the bank-balance of a person is a
very
important
factor
to determine their prosperity as it gives them the capacity to
buy
worldly pleasures in my opinion.
However
, a happy domestic life is
also
an
important
aspect to evaluate their level of accomplishment.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? how else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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