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Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a goo measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not v.1

Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a goo measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not v. 1
Money is an economical unit that is generally recognised. It can be measured in terms of the goods and services people afford depending on their source of income. A good measure of success can be seen in two ways, Financial and nonfinancial, I think the not having money is a good way of categorized as a successful individual. On the other hand, someone can itemize success as doing good deeds to others. Firstly, wealth might not be a good measure of success. Because not all rich persons are successful. Some of the richest non-challant attitude cannot control their resources or fame. An example is a recent advert seen in the newspaper of a helpless man that earns a high salary and suddenly lost all his source of income is currently hopeless and looking for all ends means to sustain his life. Secondly, there are other ways to identify whether a person is wealthy or not. This will be by showing some good deeds to the homeless and the needy. This method portrays a hundred percent characteristic of the person and can easily be identifed by the public. On the other hand, rich people do not solely depend on their income, but rather have other source of income that can sustain them and their unborn children. For instance a recent trend of a philanthropist and lecturer man became so successful even without having enough source of income. In conclusion, while success might be measured to what most people earn. This might not be a means to become successful, but rather showing a helping hands to others can portray a successful person.
Money is an economical unit
that is
generally
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
. It can
be measured
in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
afford depending on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
measure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in two ways, Financial and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nonfinancial
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the not having money is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way of categorized as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
individual. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, someone can itemize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
as doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
deeds to others.

Firstly
, wealth might not be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
measure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
not all rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of the richest
Possible spelling mistake found.
non-challant
attitude cannot control their resources or fame. An example is a recent advert
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the newspaper of a helpless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
that earns a high salary and
suddenly
lost all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is
currently
hopeless and looking for all ends means to sustain his life.

Secondly
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to identify whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is wealthy or not. This will be by showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
deeds to the homeless and the needy. This method portrays a hundred percent characteristic of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and can
easily
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
identifed
by the public. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
solely
depend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
that can sustain them and their unborn children.
For instance
a recent trend of a philanthropist and lecturer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
even without having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of income.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
might
be measured
to what most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
earn. This might not be a means to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
showing a helping hands to others can portray a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a goo measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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