Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Success is often measured in term of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think the wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? v.1

Success is often measured in term of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think the wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? v. 1
Success is the ultimate goal of everyone to get fame. But how we can get fame is the main focus area. Is that either by earning treasure or by getting highlighted with the moral values. Here I am going to discuss why we are measuring the success of a human with the money he earned. In the present world, often we are measuring the successful human being with the property how much they have earned. In my opinion, if we are able to satisfy our basic and the esteem needs we are good. If we consider the example of a saying by a great poet who has told if we satisfied with the desire new wishes will pop up in our brain. If we consider the example of a famous poet it is pretty much clear even though we have the talent we are not able to utilize it in getting funds for survival and we are not able to fulfil our desires. Even though we can say we are successful I feel wealth is one of the measures of a successful person. Consider wealth itself, not only the measure to decide whether we are successful or not. In my opinion to quote a person saying he is great one should evaluate his status and his talent and how his talent and wealth are useful to the society. Despite of being rich one should be humble, talented and they should give respect to the people around them. The property measure should be useful for oneself and should help in bringing happiness in the near and the dear ones. I want to conclude by saying success of an individual should be considered if he should meet all the mentioned factors.
Success is the ultimate goal of everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fame.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
how we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fame is the main focus area. Is that either by earning treasure or by getting highlighted with the moral values.

Here I am going to discuss why we are measuring the success of a human with the money he earned. In the present world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
we are measuring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
human being with the property how much they have earned. In my opinion, if we are able to satisfy our basic and the esteem needs we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. If we consider the example of a saying by a great poet who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
if we satisfied with the desire new wishes will pop up in our brain.

If we consider the example of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
poet it is pretty much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
even though
we have the talent we are not able to utilize it in getting funds for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
survival and
we are not able to fulfil our desires.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
we can say we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
I feel wealth is one of the measures of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
person. Consider wealth itself, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the measure to decide whether we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
or not.

In my opinion to quote a person saying he is great one should evaluate his status and his talent and how his talent and wealth are useful to the society.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
being rich one should be humble,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talented and
they should give respect to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them. The property measure should be useful for oneself and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in bringing happiness in the near and the dear ones. I want
to conclude
by saying success of an individual should
be considered
if he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the mentioned factors.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Success is often measured in term of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think the wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts