Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries today there are highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? v.1

In many countries today there are highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? v. 1
It is stated that there are many individuals, from different parts of the world who are highly qualified graduates but are unemployed. I think that there are numerous reasons for this situation, such as their health and personal reasons and lack of other requirements like work experiences. For my essay, I will be expanding more on the reasons and stating the things that can be done accordingly. Firstly, health and personal reasons may be a huge barrier to very qualified graduates. I believe that any misfortune could happen in one's life, whether it is a physical injury or a family problem. These reasons may restrict a person's will to have a job. Another big reason may be the person's lacking of the other requirements. Although he\she may be a qualified graduate, a job may depend upon other job experiences. I strongly believe that health and some personal issues (which may be minor) should not be a blockage to a qualified graduate. The workplace could be very understanding of their situation and have flexibilities with work shifts and the types of jobs one is limited to. Making these adjustments could very much fix a part of this major problem. For lack of requirements, I think that it is the employee's responsibility to fulfil the demands coming from the employer. To conclude, with the unemployment increasing, actions of employer companies and even the government can be taken against the problem. It would be very unfortunate if qualified graduates were unemployed, so therefore, solutions for this situation should be carried out immediately.
It
is stated
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals, from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world who are
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are unemployed
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this situation, such as their health and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and lack of other requirements like work experiences. For my essay, I will be expanding more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and stating the things that can
be done
accordingly
.

Firstly
, health and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
may be a huge barrier to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. I believe that any misfortune could happen in one's life, whether it is a physical injury or a family problem. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
may restrict a person's will to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
may be the person's lacking of the other requirements. Although he\she may be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may depend upon other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
experiences.

I
strongly
believe that health and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal issues (which may be minor) should not be a blockage to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
. The workplace could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
understanding of their situation and have
Possible spelling mistake found.
flexibilities
with work shifts and the types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
one
is limited
to. Making these adjustments could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
a part of this major problem. For lack of requirements, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the employee's responsibility to fulfil the demands coming from the employer.

To conclude
, with the unemployment increasing, actions of employer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
be taken
against the problem. It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfortunate if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were unemployed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
therefore
, solutions for this situation should
be carried
out immediately.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today there are highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts