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Subject: it is the responsibility of government to provide health care to everyone living in that country v.2

Subject: it is the responsibility of government to provide health care to everyone living in that country v. 2
In the world of globalization, health is the most prominent issue. People always do debate on the topic that a government is responsible to provide health care to every citizen in the country. Some people agree to the statement and others disagree. However, from my vintage point, the government is responsible for the health of citizens. I would like to give elaborated explanation for it. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that the healthcare is a basic need and everyone deserves to be healthy. Indeed, people are dying every day because of different kind of diseases like aids, cancers, tuberculosis etc. Some people are illiterate, they cannot recognize the symptoms of any disease. Result of this, they suffer from the worst condition of life and die eventually. If the government take care of them by providing the knowledge and a health insurance for the diseases, they can be recovered from it. The public awareness is the government’s responsibility. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my countries government. Recently, Obama has passed” Obamacare” bill under which all the health seekers get benefit of health insurance, so whenever people have any issue with health, money won’t become a obstacle to visit a doctor. Obama thought about people’s health without any kind of bias between wealthy and poor society. Hence, he provides great health care to the all citizens. Secondly, the government has enough money to take care of all people. Government earns a lot of revenue from taxes and the export businesses. While, some poor people do not have money for their food and shelter, so they can’t afford to get any preventive vaccination shots or medications. I remember few months back, many people were diagnosed with H1N1 infection. People didn’t have access to the medication of this virus and died because of it. If the government thinks about the public preventive care then it can be stopped. Hence, the government should invest some bucks in the healthcare. Thirdly, by proving health care government can create a brighter future of the nation. Apparently, when a person gets sick, he/she cannot attend work, which creates loss in productivity. This will ultimately affects country’s economy. If people get medication for free of cost, then they won’t hesitate to take it. They will be healthier and will live qualitative life. People will live better and it will boost the nation’s economy. For instance, I read an article about Africa, people are suffering from different viruses from forests, they do not have any governmental help in the prevention of that. Result of that, they do not have any qualitative life and it’s the main reason for its poor economy. In sum, the healthy people create the healthy nation. To wrap up, I firmly believe that government is responsible to provide health care to everyone living in that country because the health care is people’s basic need, the government has more money and the healthy people will create a bright future.
In the world of globalization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the most prominent issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
always do debate on the topic that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to every citizen in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
disagree.
However
, from my
Did you mean "vantage point"?
vintage point
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of citizens. I would like to give elaborated explanation for it.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that the healthcare is a basic need and everyone deserves to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are dying every day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of diseases like aids, cancers, tuberculosis etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are illiterate, they cannot recognize the symptoms of any disease. Result of this, they suffer from the worst condition of life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
eventually
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them by providing the knowledge and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
insurance for the diseases, they can
be recovered
from it. The public awareness is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
responsibility. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on the subject is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Recently, Obama has passed” Obamacare” bill under which all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
seekers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
insurance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have any issue with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
won’t become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
obstacle to visit a doctor. Obama
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
without any kind of bias between wealthy and poor society.
Hence
, he provides great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to the all citizens.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
earns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
revenue from taxes and the export businesses. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their food and shelter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can’t afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any preventive vaccination shots or medications. I remember few months back,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were diagnosed
with H1N1 infection.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
didn’t have access to the medication of this virus and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about the public preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
then it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bucks in the healthcare.

Thirdly
, by proving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a brighter future of the nation.
Apparently
, when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
sick, he/she cannot attend work, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
loss in productivity. This will
ultimately
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "affect"
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medication for free of cost, then they won’t hesitate to take it. They will be healthier and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
qualitative life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better and it will boost the nation’s economy.
For instance
, I read an article about Africa,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viruses from forests, they do not have any governmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the prevention of that. Result of that, they do not have any qualitative life and it’s the main reason for its poor economy. In sum, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
nation.

To wrap up, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to everyone living in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
basic need, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a bright future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Subject: it is the responsibility of government to provide health care to everyone living in that country v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
503 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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