Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion. v.3

In many countries traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Give your opinion. v. 3
Technology has turned whole world into a global village where boundaries between nations are no longer of that importance. Presently, the replacement of traditional foods with the fast foods of other continents is supposed to be detrimental for health standards. Here, I would like to accord with the given statement. There are multifarious points to endorse my point of view. First and foremost, health problems are spreading their roots owing to excessive consumption of junk food. To demonstrate, busiest people do not have time to cook homemade foods that are time consuming. Therefore, they have tendency to buy or cook continental foods that are prepared in less time. Besides this, the widespread availability of fast food outlets also stimulates masses to have more and more western food. Consequently, the health concerns such as obesity, lower immune system, skin problems are on the elevation. What is more, gone are the days when family members used to have their meals together at their homes. Whereas, at present, some folks prefer to eat fast food provided by eateries outside their homes instead of eating home cooked food by sitting together with the family members. As a result, it leads to decline interaction among families and it has adverse effect on their bondings. Modern youngsters want to eat continental foods while grey headed generation have desire to taste customary foods on festive occasions. Hence, sometime, the difference between food choices emerges conflicts between young and old people. Adding to it, fast food culture is detrimental for the traditional food heritage of a country. To illustrate, modern youngsters are less willing to learn recipes and cooking methods of traditional foods under the influence of western food culture. In addition, they do not spend time with parents in order to learn the culinary skills of their home country. Thus, traditional food culture is no longer of that importance. To recapitulate, undeniably, fast food satisfies to the taste of people at larger extent. However, it has plenty of nasty effects on the food culture, family bondings and society.
Technology has turned whole world into a global village where boundaries between nations are no longer of that importance.
Presently
, the replacement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
of other continents
is supposed
to be detrimental for health standards. Here, I would like to accord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

There are multifarious points to endorse my point of view.
First
and foremost, health problems are spreading their roots owing to excessive consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. To demonstrate,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the busiest".
busiest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
.
Therefore
, they have tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or cook continental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that
are prepared
in less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Besides
this, the widespread availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets
also
stimulates masses to have more and more western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Consequently
, the health concerns such as obesity, lower immune system, skin problems are on the elevation.

What is more
, gone are the days when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have their meals together at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Whereas, at present,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks prefer to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
provided by eateries outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
instead
of eating home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by sitting together with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
As a result
, it leads to decline interaction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and it has adverse effect on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
bondings
. Modern youngsters want to eat continental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
while
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
headed generation have desire to taste customary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
on festive occasions.
Hence
, sometime, the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices emerges conflicts between young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Adding to it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is detrimental for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
heritage of a country. To illustrate, modern youngsters are less willing to learn recipes and cooking methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
under the influence of western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
In addition
, they do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with parents in order to learn the culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of their home country.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is no longer of that importance.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
satisfies to the taste of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at larger extent.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of nasty effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
bondings
and society.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts