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Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation? v.4

Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation? v. 4
It is true that rich people are becoming richer and poor are poorer day by day especially in developing countries. There are many major problems associated with livelihood gap some of them could be discussed and find a probable solution to these. To begin with studies has shown that poverty and education are correlated. Upper class society, they can afford schooling to their children in their place and also in foreign. Lower class people cannot give basic education to their children because of insufficient money. Here the solution is authority should encourage people to give a basic level of study and should provide scholarships for students by seeing their annual income. For instance In India ministry initiated mid day meal programme for poor children who could not study and provides meals and also started learning through digital technology in villages which is a great initiative. On the other hand basic health care is an essential thing in all our lives. High class people spend money for their health in corporate hospitals whereas poor people cannot afford even minimal facilities for their well-being. Hence authority can make possibilities for poor people to use some facilities in corporate health care setting in collaboration with governing bodies. For example In India ministry created schemes for less income grouped individuals to use the facilities also provides nutritious food and health education in rural areas. To sum up, government officials should encourage high income group people to pay taxes correctly, so that taxes which paid should use correctly for people for basic minimal needs of poor people.
It is true that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming richer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are poorer day by day
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major problems associated with livelihood gap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them could
be discussed
and find a probable solution to these.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with studies has shown that poverty and education
are correlated
. Upper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
society, they can afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to school".
schooling
to their children in their place and
also
in foreign. Lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
education to their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of insufficient money. Here the solution is authority should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
level of study and should provide scholarships for students by seeing their annual income.
For instance
In India ministry initiated
This word is normally spelled as one.
mid day
meal
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
children who could not study and provides meals and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
learning through digital technology in villages which is a great initiative.

On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care is an essential thing in all our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. High
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend money for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in corporate hospitals whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford even minimal facilities for their well-being.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
authority can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
possibilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities in corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care setting in collaboration with governing bodies.
For example
In India ministry created schemes for less income grouped individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the facilities
also
provides nutritious food and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education in rural areas.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials should encourage high income group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay taxes
correctly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that taxes which paid should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
correctly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
minimal needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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