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Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree? v.11

Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. v. 11
In today's world, advertising has become one of the most effective methods to promote a new product, and their main targeted at teenagers and children. But there are those who think that advertisements should be deleted. I partly agree with this idea that the tendency will have positive and negative impacts. Firstly, there are some positive effects of child-targeted advertising for some businesses. Specifically, some manufacturing companies are at risk of bankruptcy and economic decline due to the lack of young customers. Therefore, will lead to a sharp economic decline of the nation. The chocolate and fast food industry like McDonald's depends heavily on teenagers and children. If it were not for the marketing strategy aimed at young children with the accompanied toys, these industries would not be as successful as they are now. On the other hand, blocking child-appointed ads can be of great benefit to many low-income families. The advertisements are not true but have beautiful images that make young people want to buy or make them ask for more money from their parents to be able to buy the item. Fast food not only causes health problems like obesity, cancer, etc. . . , but they also cost parents money on that. Moreover, advertising aimed at children will make the relationship between parents and their children more stressful. Children want what they see in ads, and this can cause a conflict between parents and children if parents refuse their children about what they want. In summary, in the long run, negative effects can be observed: financial budget and physical health.
In
today
's world, advertising has become one of the most effective methods to promote a new product, and their main targeted at
teenagers
and
children
.
But
there are those who
think
that advertisements should
be deleted
. I partly
agree
with this
idea
that the tendency will have
positive
and
negative
impacts.

Firstly
, there are
some
positive
effects of child-targeted advertising for
some
businesses.
Specifically
,
some
manufacturing
companies
are at
risk
of bankruptcy and economic decline due to the lack of young customers.
Therefore
, will lead to a sharp economic decline of the nation. The chocolate and
fast
food industry like McDonald's depends
heavily
on
teenagers
and
children
. If it were not for the marketing strategy aimed at young
children
with the accompanied toys, these industries would not be as successful as they are
now
.

On the other hand
, blocking child-appointed ads can be of great benefit to
many
low-income families. The advertisements are not true
but
have
beautiful
images that
make
young
people
want to
buy
or
make
them
ask for
more money from their
parents
to be able to
buy
the item.
Fast
food not
only
causes health problems like obesity, cancer, etc.
.
.
,
but
they
also
cost
parents
money on that.
Moreover
, advertising aimed at
children
will
make
the relationship between
parents
and their
children
more stressful.
Children
want what they
see
in ads, and this can cause a conflict between
parents
and
children
if
parents
refuse their
children
about what they want.

In summary, in the long run,
negative
effects can
be observed
: financial budget and physical health.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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