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Some people think it is important to spend money on railway while other think to spend on existed transport. v.1

Some people think it is important to spend money on railway while other think to spend on existed transport. v. 1
These days, people use various means of transportation to travel from place to place. To ameliorate and shorten the travel distance, new track lines are suggested to introduce for the trains with modern technology within urban areas. However, such steps demand an enormous investment, which is considered more decisive for already working transports. As these are also in poor conditions, so it is necessitated to fix it as well. Railway transportation plays a significant role in the mobilization of people who live apart from major cities. As the rail line lines are considered a source of connection not just within the metropolitan areas but also links other cities, suburbs with each other. Therefore, it entails overcoming the challenges which people face daily to reach their destinations, such as work, shopping, etc. Moreover, modern trains are a representation of the latest technology, which ensures the safety and comfort of their passengers. Meanwhile, the highly intricate process for the masses is to take improvement in the vehicles which are currently utilized by the public because the scarcity of funds and usage without insurance leads to work in substandard states. Thus, it is emphasized to spend budget on the previous transport system rather than the upcoming one, so that most of the population can gain the benefit from it. In addition, it is not rational to devote the idea of funding for rail line which will serve only a certain community, for instance, urban community, etc. In conclusion, the government will take action towards the betterment of the railway line, because it will make travelling easier within the big cities, while there will be pressure on authorities for making the strategies for the development of current means of mobilization, as it is eventually a need of an hour.
These days,
people
use
various means of transportation to travel from place to place. To ameliorate and shorten the travel distance, new
track
lines
are suggested
to introduce for the trains with modern technology within urban areas.
However
, such steps demand an enormous investment, which
is considered
more decisive for already working transports. As these are
also
in poor conditions,
so
it
is necessitated
to
fix
it
as well
.

Railway transportation plays a significant role in the mobilization of
people
who
live
apart from major cities. As the rail
line
lines
are considered
a source of connection not
just
within the metropolitan areas
but
also
links other cities, suburbs with each other.
Therefore
, it entails overcoming the challenges which
people
face daily to reach their destinations, such as work, shopping, etc.
Moreover
, modern trains are a representation of the latest technology, which ensures the safety and comfort of their passengers.

Meanwhile, the
highly
intricate process for the masses is to take improvement in the vehicles which are
currently
utilized by the public
because
the scarcity of funds and usage without insurance leads to work in substandard states.
Thus
, it
is emphasized
to spend budget on the previous transport system
rather
than the upcoming one,
so
that most of the population can gain the benefit from it.
In addition
, it is not rational to devote the
idea
of funding for rail
line
which will serve
only
a certain community,
for instance
, urban community, etc.

In conclusion
, the
government
will take action towards the betterment of the railway
line
,
because
it will
make
travelling easier within the
big
cities, while there will be pressure on authorities for making the strategies for the development of
current
means of mobilization, as it is
eventually
a need of an hour.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is important to spend money on railway while other think to spend on existed transport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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