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Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue? v.1

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue? v. 1
It is a matter of fact that high school graduates are lacking personal finance management skills in this day and age. This trend is caused by several reasons which will be outlined in this essay. Also, there are numerous steps that may be carried out. There are several reasons why former students from high school possess poor financial literacy. The initial explanation is that subjects on soft skills like individual managing economic are not comprised in high school curriculum and educators tend to emphasize major subjects such as math, English or literature. This results in the student not being taught about these at their school. In addition, parents regularly think that their offsprings are not mature enough to administer their own fund so these learners are little or even in no opportunity to interact with financial issues and also feel no need to involve these ones. Thus, deficiency in money management knowledge in high school students can be understood through above reasons. There are a number of actions that could be taken to solve the problems caused by high school leavers without money organization ability. Firstly, soft skills- related subjects can be provided for student in the form of optional ones which help them supplement necessary knowledge and be aware of the importance of money. Besides, parents also should create opportunities for their children practice these theoretical lessons in managing their own money by letting them experience some kinds of part time job after school time and being strict on granting allowance. By doing these ways, schools and families can help their students and children gain valuable knowledge about the way to supervise independent financial situation after graduating and leaving home. In conclusion, this essay has presented the main reasons for individual financial management in high school students. Nevertheless, measures could be adopted to tackle this issue.
It is a matter of fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates are lacking personal finance management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in this day and age. This trend
is caused
by several reasons which will
be outlined
in this essay.
Also
, there are numerous steps that may
be carried
out.

There are several reasons why former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
possess poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
literacy. The initial explanation is that subjects on soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like individual managing economic are not comprised in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum and educators tend to emphasize major subjects such as math, English or literature. This results in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
not
being taught
about these at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, parents
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to administer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fund
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these learners are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or even in no opportunity to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
issues and
also
feel no need to involve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Thus
, deficiency in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be understood
through above reasons.

There are a number of actions that could
be taken
to solve the problems caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
organization ability.
Firstly
, soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
- related subjects can
be provided
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in the form of optional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them supplement necessary knowledge and be aware of the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Besides
, parents
also
should create opportunities for their children practice these theoretical lessons in managing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by letting them experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time and being strict on granting allowance. By doing these ways,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and families can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and children gain valuable knowledge about the way to supervise independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
situation after graduating and leaving home.

In conclusion
, this essay has presented the main reasons for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Nevertheless
, measures could
be adopted
to tackle this issue.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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