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Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue? v.3

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue? v. 3
It is true that most high school graduates struggle with their financial management. There are a number of reasons behind this tendency and several solutions should be adopted by the government and individuals to improve the situation. There are two primary reasons why the shortage in controlling budget is in popularity for high school leavers. One reason is that students have not been instructed about soft skills during the student period in schools. The current education system concentrates on theoretical subjects which require students a considerable amount of time to hit the books instead of essential life skilled lessons including managing their expenditure. Furthermore, free-financial support in family is one of the main factors. It is uncomplicated for these youngsters to purchase what they want from their parents and it can be driven that high school leavers will not have any experience to deal with their spending issues. Fortunately, several measures could be taken to prevent this problem. The first solution would be the soft skills should be added as an optional subject in the learning curriculum. Schools would arrange more out-door survival lessons namely: managing money, teamwork, time management for students to access this circumstance before they graduate. A second measure would come from parents. Instead of supporting uncounted money for these adolescents, parents should limit a monthly allowance for them and that would help them to balance their spending in a greater way. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for the lack of financial management in young generation after they finish their school time and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.
It is true that most high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates struggle with their financial management. There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this tendency and several solutions should
be adopted
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

There are two primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the shortage in controlling budget is in popularity for high
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have not
been instructed
about soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
period in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
education system concentrates on theoretical subjects which require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a considerable amount of time to hit the books
instead
of essential life skilled lessons including managing their expenditure.
Furthermore
, free-financial support in family is one of the main factors. It
is uncomplicated
for these youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
what they want from their parents and it can
be driven
that high
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
will not have any experience to deal with their spending issues.

Fortunately
, several measures could
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this problem. The
first
solution would be the soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
as an optional subject in the learning curriculum.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
would arrange more out-door survival lessons
namely
: managing money, teamwork, time management for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to access this circumstance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they graduate. A second measure would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from parents.
Instead
of supporting uncounted money for these adolescents, parents should limit a monthly allowance for them and that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to balance their spending in a greater way.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the lack of financial management in young generation after they finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time and steps need to
be taken
to tackle this problem.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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