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Students in schools and university learn more lesson with their teachers when compared to other sources ( e. g. , Television and internet). Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Students in schools and university learn more lesson with their teachers when compared to other sources ( e. g. , Television and internet). v. 2
Due to the mobile revolution internet is easily accessed through mobile, which helps students to engross their knowledge in various subjects. But some people believe students acquire more knowledge in various educational institutions through their teachers is more when compared to other medium of sources. In my opinion, I strongly disagree to this thought, which will be explained in the following passage with suitable examples. Mobile and television are integral part of our life, where youngsters have avenue of opportunities to learn their subject details. For instance, while I was doing my project during my end semester graduation, I was totally relying on internet to get the required assistance. The information obtained was enormous, when compared to learning from teachers. Furthermore, students gain knowledge based on their curriculum is limited, and therefore they obtain minimal resources from their teachers, where else internet is referred as an encyclopaedia to access both subject and non-subject details. Therefore, the knowledge obtained by students through internet is more than with their teachers. In addition, some channels provide informational programmes such as, learn grammar easily and learn match practically helps students to learn their subjects easily. Nowadays, various users friendly mobile applications are introduced in the market to aid students understand their topics with various demonstrations. For instance, Byj’s mobile apps help children and youngsters to learn their subjects with interactives sessions. Thus, it is believed even though teachers educate both subject other general details from their experience to student, but considering the accessibility of information from internet is incomparable. To sum up, as the proverb says” knowledge is wealth”, students at present gain phenomenal information through internet and television are more when compared with their teachers.
Due to the mobile revolution internet is
easily
accessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
mobile, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to engross their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
acquire more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
educational institutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is more when compared to other medium of sources. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following passage with suitable examples.

Mobile and television are integral part of our life, where youngsters have avenue of opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
For instance
, while I was doing my project during my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
semester graduation, I was
totally
relying on internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the required assistance. The information obtained was enormous, when compared to learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
based on their curriculum
is limited
, and
therefore
they obtain minimal resources from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, where else internet
is referred
as an encyclopaedia to access both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and non-subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
obtained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
internet is more than with their teachers.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
channels provide informational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
grammar
easily
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
match
practically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
easily
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
users friendly mobile applications
are introduced
in the market to aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
understand their topics with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
demonstrations.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Byj
’s mobile apps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children and youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
interactives
sessions.
Thus
, it
is believed
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
educate both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
other general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
from their experience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
considering the accessibility of information from internet is incomparable.

To sum up, as the proverb says”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is wealth”,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at present gain phenomenal information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
internet and television are more when compared with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Students in schools and university learn more lesson with their teachers when compared to other sources ( e. g. , Television and internet). v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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