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As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. v.2

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. v. 2
Nowadays people depend a lot on technology to ease their lives. Although there are many advantages of using technology in most aspects of the life, I believe that technology has some negative effects on humans' lives for the following reasons. To begin with, if people rely lots on technology, they will think less. For example, at school, students use calculators instead of count by themselves. This will affect on their brain activities and make them think slowly and even forget some of basic principles of math as multiplication and division. I remember at college, we had a professor who was not able to figure out the answer of (0. 1 -0. 01) until he used the calculator because he depended mainly on technology to solve mathematical problems. Thus technology may lower our brain activity. Secondly, exploiting technology may lead to use it instead of humans themselves in future. Factories, for instance, use machines and try to replace human with such machines for better, fast productivity, and because machines are cheaper than human workforce. This will lead to lots of unemployment. By this way people who thought that technological machines are better for more production with high quality products, will discover that these machines influence their lives adversely. Finally, even the social communication is impacted by technology. People are busy with their cell phones, iPads, and laptops. They do not have enough time to visit each other, to get to know to a person who sits beside them in a bus or subway, or even to participate in community services. These technological devices take the attention and time of people for socializes with others. People tend to have friends online through facebook rather than know them personally, face to face. This makes people away from each other even if they live close to each other like in the same neighborhood. To sum it up, technology has many beneficial things and impacts our lives in a strong way. It, however, influences human' s' lives in a negative way, by making us slower thinker, increasing unemployment, and decreasing the communication among people.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depend a lot on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in most aspects of the life, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
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humans&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for the following reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely lots on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
less.
For example
, at school, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
calculators
instead
of count by themselves. This will
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their brain activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
slowly
and even forget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of basic principles of math as multiplication and division. I remember at college, we had a professor who was not able to figure out the answer of (0. 1 -0. 01) until he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the calculator
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he depended
mainly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to solve mathematical problems.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
may lower our brain activity.

Secondly
, exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
may lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
themselves
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Factories,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and try to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
for better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
productivity, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
workforce. This will lead to lots of unemployment. By this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are better for more production with high quality products, will discover that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
adversely
.

Finally
, even the social communication
is impacted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are busy with their cell phones, iPads, and laptops. They do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to visit each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know to a person who sits beside them in a bus or subway, or even to participate in community services. These technological devices take the attention and time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for socializes with others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to have friends online through
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
rather
than know them
personally
, face to face.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
even if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
close to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
like in the same neighborhood.

To sum it up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial things and impacts our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
Consider replacing "in a strong way" with the adverb for "strong"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a strong way
. It,
however
, influences
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039;
Possible spelling mistake found.
s&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way, by making us slower thinker, increasing unemployment, and decreasing the communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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