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students in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the teacher while taking the notes or communicating and sharing ideas with classes. which one is better? v.1

students in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the teacher while taking the notes or communicating and sharing ideas with classes. which one is better? v. 1
In today's modern world, scientific researches are developing rapidly. Regardless of the crucial role of these experiments in realizing our world, inevitably there are some disadvantages. In my view, the drawbacks of scientific researches outweigh the positives. This essay refers to some of these pros and cons. To begin with, owing to these investigations, we have been able to explore the world around us. For example, recently scientists have claimed that life has existed in the moon. Thanks to all these tests, in many cases, the connection between creatures and natural events has been discovered and consequently, new phenomena are being detected. Turning to the other side of the argument, doing scientific experiments cost a lot since a big amount of the budget should be dedicated to buying the required equipment. As an example, launching a space shuttle into the space is too costly. Therefore, the government has to sponsor all the trials and errors that might happen while testing. Additionally, scientists are not always honest about their discovery results. Simply put, to get the fund provided by the government or run a lucrative business, specialists might present fake pieces of evidence which could not be distinguished by anyone unless you were an expert to concord the forgery with the reality. For instance, after marketing a beauty product, its harms are revealed by the news on television. In conclusion, scientific researches could be an asset to human beings to notice the world and its features, but it is not feasible to ignore the high cost of doing various tests. Experiments could be beneficial if private companies support scientists’ efforts.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
researches are developing
rapidly
. Regardless of the crucial role of these experiments in realizing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
inevitably
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. In my view, the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
researches outweigh the positives. This essay refers to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these pros and cons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, owing to these investigations, we have been able to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
around us.
For example
, recently scientists have claimed that life has existed in the moon. Thanks to all these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
creatures and natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
has
been discovered
and
consequently
, new phenomena are
being detected
.

Turning to the other side of the argument, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
experiments cost a lot since a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of the budget should
be dedicated
to buying the required equipment. As an example, launching a space shuttle into the space is too costly.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
sponsor all the trials and errors that might happen while testing.

Additionally
, scientists are not always honest about their discovery results.
Simply
put, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the fund provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or run a lucrative business, specialists might present fake pieces of evidence which could not
be distinguished
by anyone unless you were an expert to concord the forgery with the reality.
For instance
, after marketing a beauty product, its harms
are revealed
by the news on television.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
researches could be an asset to human beings to notice the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and its features,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not feasible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the high cost of doing various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. Experiments could be beneficial if private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
support scientists’ efforts.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay students in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the teacher while taking the notes or communicating and sharing ideas with classes. which one is better? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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