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students in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the teacher while taking the notes or communicating and sharing ideas with classes. which one is better? v.2

students in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the teacher while taking the notes or communicating and sharing ideas with classes. which one is better? v. 2
The question is that students in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the teacher while taking the notes or communicating and sharing ideas with classes. Everyone with regard to his personality and his private viewpoint can maintain a specific direction toward this statement; however I am inclined to affirm that the second way can be a useful selection. Participating in the discussions of class can provide some advantages for students in their current and future life. My arguments and reasons are listed below which strengthen my point of view: To begin with, it is axiomatic that sitting and taking note continuously can be tedious for everyone; hence a worthwhile solution for avoiding from this circumstance is that teachers require students to be active in the class. A teacher should not forget that when students with different backgrounds share their opinions, spontaneously the level of knowledge will be raised up in the class. Such a condition will cause students to affect on each other’s ideas; as a result the creative and objective ideas will be formed. The second reason why I advocate from communicating students in a class with each other lies in the fact interpersonal skills. This approach can improve the students' personality. For instance, the shy students can use this opportunity for optimizing their character and overcoming on their fears; consequently the self-confidence feeling will be reinforced in them. Also speaking in the class helps students to make new friends for themselves. Moreover, there is a bit of different point here. When teachers allow students to participate in the discussions, the competition can enter to the scene. Nobody could overlook this fact that the competition plays a crucial role in obtaining prosperity; subsequently the students will do more efforts for attracting their teachers or at least showing off. By taking all above mentioned arguments this conclusion could be drawn that participation and Cooperation provides an advantageous bed for both of the students and teachers. Broadening knowledge base, gaining self-confidence feeling and creating competition among students are some achievements in this way.
The question is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
while taking the notes or communicating and sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. Everyone with regard to his personality and his private viewpoint can maintain a specific direction toward this statement;
however
I
am inclined
to affirm that the second way can be a useful selection. Participating in the discussions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future life. My arguments and reasons
are listed
below which strengthen my point of view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is axiomatic that sitting and taking note
continuously
can be tedious for everyone;
hence
a worthwhile solution for avoiding from this circumstance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be active in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
should not forget that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds share their opinions,
spontaneously
the level of knowledge will
be raised
up in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Such a condition will cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on each other’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
;
as a result
the creative and objective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
will
be formed
.

The second reason why I advocate from communicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with each other lies in the fact interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This approach can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; personality.
For instance
, the shy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this opportunity for optimizing their character and overcoming on their fears;
consequently
the self-confidence feeling will
be reinforced
in them.
Also
speaking in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends for themselves.

Moreover
, there is a bit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point here. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to participate in the discussions, the competition can enter to the scene. Nobody could overlook this fact that the competition plays a crucial role in obtaining prosperity;
subsequently
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will do more efforts for attracting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or at least showing off.

By taking all above mentioned arguments this conclusion could
be drawn
that participation and

Cooperation provides an advantageous bed for both of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Broadening knowledge base, gaining self-confidence feeling and creating competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
achievements in this way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay students in high school should learn by sitting there listening to the teacher while taking the notes or communicating and sharing ideas with classes. which one is better? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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