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which one is better? Participating in the class and sharing idea or sitting and listening to the teacher and taking note. v.2

which one is better? Participating in the class and sharing idea or sitting and listening to the teacher and taking note. v. 2
The question is whether sitting and taking note is more effective for students in high school or participating in class discussion. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement; however, I am inclined to declare that advantages that communicating in a class brings us, will be more worthwhile. I feel this for some reasons, which I will explore them in following essay for empowering my vantage point: To begin with, it is an undeniable fact that school plays a pivotal role in students' life and even their future. It goes without saying that school' s life leads the young to find the best way for prosperity; consequently; students need to take advantage of it. One the one hand, they have to reinforce patience skill in themselves with being patient in front of teacher' s speaking; on the other hand, sharing ideas with the class will cause students to provide a bed for receiving positive or negative feedbackwhi from teachers or their classmates. One should not forget, such a great circumstance can help students to broaden their knowledge base through obtaining different information or diverse experiences that these types of data will be gained by others in the class. The second reason for my arguments lies the reality that participation and cooperation is able to optimize interpersonal skills in students including making new friends, confronting their fears, improving communication system and this list seems endless. To elucidate, take my own experience. I remember, when I was a teenager, I was a shy person. It was a tough condition for me to speak with other students due to the nurture of my family. I did not like that condition; hence, I made a decision to consult with my advisor. He suggested me that the best approach for solving this problem was that I had to confront with my fear. After doing that, I perceived that everything is impossible as long as you do not do it. In short, that occurrence changed my personality. one should notice that being active during class can form our personality that how to behave or associate with other people in the society. As I have illustrated, this conclusion could be drawn that participation in the class not only can improve students' knowledge, but also it is the most striking features in shaping students' character that the consequences of this skill will be observed in university and community.
The question is whether sitting and taking note is more effective for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in high school or participating in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
discussion. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement;
however
, I
am inclined
to declare that advantages that communicating in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
brings us, will be more worthwhile. I feel this for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, which I will explore them in following essay for empowering my vantage point:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is an undeniable fact that school plays a pivotal role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; life and even their future. It goes without saying that
Possible spelling mistake found.
school&
#039; s life leads the young to find the best way for prosperity;
consequently
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to take advantage of it.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reinforce patience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in themselves with being patient in front of
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s speaking; on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to provide a bed for receiving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
feedbackwhi
from teachers or their classmates. One should not forget, such a great circumstance can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to broaden their knowledge base through obtaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
information or diverse experiences that these types of data will
be gained
by others in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

The second reason for my arguments lies the reality that participation and cooperation is able to optimize interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
including making new friends, confronting their fears, improving communication system and this list seems endless. To elucidate, take my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. I remember, when I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I was a shy person. It was a tough condition for me to speak with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
due to the nurture of my family. I did not like that condition;
hence
, I made a decision to consult with my advisor. He suggested me that the best approach for solving this problem was that I had to confront with my fear. After doing that, I perceived that everything is impossible as long as you do not do it. In short, that occurrence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my personality.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
should notice that being active during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can form our personality that how to behave or associate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the society.

As I have illustrated, this conclusion could
be drawn
that participation in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is the most striking features in shaping
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; character that the consequences of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
will
be observed
in university and community.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay which one is better? Participating in the class and sharing idea or sitting and listening to the teacher and taking note. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
408 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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