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Students in a university club want to help others, but they can choose only one project a year: A: help those students in nearby primary school with reading and mathematics, B: Help people who cannot afford to build or rent a home to build a house, C: Vis v.2

Students in a university club want to help others, but they can choose only one project a year: A: help those students in nearby primary school with reading and mathematics, B: Help people who cannot afford to build or rent a home to build a house, C: Vis v. 2
People have different views about the pros and cons of university students participation in learning primary school students. While some argue that it would be better for university students to spend their time and energy helping poor people to build their houses, or to visit the obsolete people who require serious health help, I believe the university students should focus on teaching primary school children because it is related to knowledge more, and it saves them time. One of the primary causes is that the most valuable asset of a person is his knowledge. By augmenting in some one' s knowledge, the students provide primary students with the greatest help they ever can. For example, when I know a once very wealthy man who was illiterate. After a while, he lost all of his asset in what he, himself, called a price fluctuation in the market due to some governmental decisions. The point that is worth considering is that he could not revive his business, thereby made to labor for other people inevitably. This was a serious mental harm for him. I saw him every day in the street lamented. If this former businessman were literate, he would overcome the situation and might rebuild his business as some of his peers did. Thus, the students should help learning others because the knowledge might be more beneficial even for the wealthiest person. Another aspect to consider is that time is gold. Students should utilize their time as efficient as it is possible. The university period is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for students to improve their dexterity, learn a variety of subjects, and determine their future path of career, but unfortunately, this period is not such long. It is usually six or seven years at most, thus students should harness it in the most optimized way. One of the best methods of time saving for a student is to learn elementary students. In this approach, they review subjects such as reading and mathematics which serve as the foundation for their own knowledge. In fact, human' s memory is so weaker than what people usually imagine. A lot of us miss the greatest opportunities in our career since we assume that we are so strong the basic materials like mathematics and reading. In that teaching in primary schools aids the university students save time by reviewing their basic knowledge, they would appear stronger in their performance at high level courses once confronted. In conclusion, although some may argue that it is better for students to aid other people who have trouble paying for a house in constructing, or assist the elderly, I, personally, believe that the university students should allocate their energy and time to educating elementary school students in reading and mathematics because not only does this enhances the primary school children' s scientific level, but also it helps the university students in saving time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
participation in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that it would be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy helping poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, or to visit the obsolete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who require serious health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should focus on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
more, and it saves them time.

One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
causes is that the most valuable asset of a person is his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. By augmenting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
they ever can.
For example
, when I know a once
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who was illiterate. After a while, he lost all of his asset in what he, himself, called a price fluctuation in the market due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
governmental decisions. The point
that is
worth considering is that he could not revive his business, thereby made to labor for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inevitably
. This was a serious mental harm for him. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
him every day in the street lamented. If this former businessman were literate, he would overcome the situation and might rebuild his business as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his peers did.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
learning others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
might be more beneficial even for the wealthiest person.

Another aspect to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is gold.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as efficient as it is possible. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
period is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their dexterity, learn a variety of subjects, and determine their future path of career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, this period is not such long. It is
usually
six or seven years at most,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should harness it in the most optimized way. One of the best methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is to learn elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In this approach, they review subjects such as reading and mathematics which serve as the foundation for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. In fact,
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s memory is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
weaker than what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
imagine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
us miss the greatest opportunities in our career since we assume that we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strong the basic materials like mathematics and reading. In that teaching in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
aids the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by reviewing their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, they would appear stronger in their performance at high level courses once confronted.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to aid other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have trouble paying for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in constructing, or assist the elderly, I,
personally
, believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should allocate their energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to educating elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in reading and mathematics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this enhances the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s scientific level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Students in a university club want to help others, but they can choose only one project a year: A: help those students in nearby primary school with reading and mathematics, B: Help people who cannot afford to build or rent a home to build a house, C: Vis v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
482 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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