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TOEFL. Independent writing. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a bigcity v.2

TOEFL. Independent writing. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a bigcity v. 2
The place of residence has a lasting impact on all spheres of your life. It may determine your career advancement, opportunities for education, the level of comfort—all life prospects, in general. Therefore, some people, selecting the place to live, may opt for choosing big cities. Others would prefer more serene areas such as small towns. If I were asked to choose where to live—either in a small town or in a big city, I would choose a big city without any doubts. There are several reasons that explain my preference. First, big cities provide more opportunities to find a job you dream about. It is not a secret that most of the big, famous, and well-developed companies are concentrated in the centers of big cities. For instance, if you walk in the center of Moscow, the capital of Russian Federation, you will see huge offices of IBM, Google, Shell—all those companies the majority of people desire to work for. These companies have thousands of employees, hundreds of different jobs, and as such a lot of vacancies. They have different positions for managers, experienced specialists, and students. Besides, small companies cannot offer you as big selection of jobs as big companies can. Whether we like it or not, the majority of big companies do not do business in small towns. Consequently, if you are willing to get a good job, there are more chances to get it a big city. Second, a social life, which is very important nowadays, is way more active in big cities. By “social life” I mean attending different social or business events and forums, and visiting galleries or museums. To be socially active is very important for your professional and personal development. Big cities can offer you thousands of different social activities. Every single person can find something she or he likes and become a part of different communities. For instance, last month I attended SAP forum in Moscow. Many SAP professionals from different businesses gathered to discuss new technologies on the market. I had made a lot of new business contacts, so when I started my new project, I already knew companies with which I can work. There is no surprise that my project went well, because I was working with the best people in the industry. As you can see, active social life is one of the most important parts of your business. This is where big cities easily outdo small towns by offering you a lot of opportunities to enhance yourself socially. To sum up, if you are an active person, if you have big career goals, and if you have a lot of hobbies, then big cities are for you. If you wonder where the best universities and most famous galleries are located or where the biggest events take place, the answer is – in the big cities.
The place of residence has a lasting impact on all spheres of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It may determine your career advancement, opportunities for education, the level of comfort—all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
prospects,
in general
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, selecting the place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, may opt for choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Others would prefer more serene areas such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
. If I
were asked
to choose where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
—either in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
or in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city, I would choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city without any doubts. There are several reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my preference.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide more opportunities to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
you dream about. It is not a secret that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, and well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are concentrated
in the centers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, if you walk in the center of Moscow, the capital of Russian Federation, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
huge offices of IBM, Google, Shell—all those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
desire to work for. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have thousands of employees, hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, and as such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of vacancies. They have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
positions for managers, experienced specialists, and students.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
cannot offer you as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can. Whether we like it or not, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
.
Consequently
, if you are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, there are more chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city.

Second, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
nowadays, is way more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life”
I mean attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and forums, and visiting galleries or museums. To be
socially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for your professional and personal development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can offer you thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities. Every single person can find something she or he likes and become a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
communities.
For instance
, last month I attended SAP forum in Moscow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
SAP professionals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
gathered to discuss new technologies on the market. I had made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
contacts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my new project, I already knew
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with which I can work. There is no surprise that my project went well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was working with the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the industry. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. This is where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
easily
outdo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
by offering you a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of opportunities to enhance yourself
socially
.

To sum up, if you are an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
person, if you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
career goals, and if you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of hobbies, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are for you. If you wonder where the best universities and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
galleries
are located
or where the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
take place, the answer is
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
73Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay TOEFL. Independent writing. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a bigcity v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
476 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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