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In some country children start school at the age of 4 and another country at the age of 7 so lme people believe that early school start is affecting parents child relationship v.2

In some country children start school at the age of 4 and another country at the age of 7 so lme people believe that early school start is affecting parents child relationship v. 2
Education being a third eye lay the foundation of a successful career for human beings. Presently, these days people like to send to their children into school at the age of 4 due to their sedentary lifestyle. This happening has few drawbacks. However, it has merits outweigh to its demerits. Here, I would accounts for both cons and pros. There are manifold causes why going to school at the early age is beneficial. First and foremost, kids can learn basic of ever subject. To justify, going into school allow children to meet new friends who spend time with them. By doing so, offsprings can acquire the virtue of sharing, group discussion and so on which are supposed to be fruitful for their future. Moreover, schools also assist of kids to prevent bad company or bullies because they spend too much time in school. School provides good ambience to children l. So, there is no chance of fall children into bad company. In addition to this, schools do not offer only excellent study to their children, but also teach many respectful virtue of obicience, discipline and so on. Hence, it is a brilliant approach towards kids education. Furthermore, doing study at the early can lead towards a successful career. Although, it has some drawbacks also. To commence with, when children start going to school at the early age, then they do not have spare time for their parents due to homework. Thus, the bonding between children ams parents can become feeble up to some extent. Next, early education may the hindrance for children to learn moral and ethical values because they do not left time for learning such things. As a result, the tendency of sending kids into schools is futile. To conclude, schools indeed a crucial for every individual. However, sending children into schools at the early age has few demerits. But, it merits are outweigh to its demerits.
Education being a third eye lay the foundation of a successful career for human beings.
Presently
, these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 4 due to their sedentary lifestyle. This happening has few drawbacks.
However
, it has merits outweigh to its demerits. Here, I would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "account"
accounts
for both cons and pros.

There are manifold causes why going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is beneficial.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can learn basic of ever subject. To justify, going into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends who spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings can
acquire the virtue of sharing, group discussion and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which
are supposed
to be fruitful for their future.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
assist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or bullies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ambience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
l.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no chance of fall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
excellent study to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respectful virtue of
Possible spelling mistake found.
obicience
, discipline and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Hence
, it is a brilliant approach towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
education.
Furthermore
, doing study at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
can lead towards a successful career.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
. To commence with, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, then they do not have spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their parents due to homework.
Thus
, the bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
ams
parents can become feeble up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
education may the hindrance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn moral and ethical values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "leave"?
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for learning such things.
As a result
, the tendency of sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is futile.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
indeed
a crucial for every individual.
However
, sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
has few demerits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it merits are
Consider using a past participle here: "outweighed".
outweigh
to its demerits.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay In some country children start school at the age of 4 and another country at the age of 7 so lme people believe that early school start is affecting parents child relationship v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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