Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Students have a right to get education and university education fees should be freely available. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Students have a right to get education and university education fees should be freely available. v. 2
In these recent centuries, the university costs are extremely high. This is due to the inflation where the price of goods increased as well as the education costs. Therefore, having a tertiary education as a free of charge, all the students can enjoy studying and this can be advantageous for government and individual’s perspective. However, free of education charges can create several problems. The first and foremost problem is the reduction of the quality of education and the facilities. Since the university finances for maintenance by student’s fees, without having accepted the maintenance of education and facility would be difficult. This can result in a poor quality of education and facilities. Furthermore, many people would be graduated with a degree qualification. In other words, most of people would hold of a tertiary education qualification, the market will be competitive. Since the company is seeking for the most suitable and best employee to be profit-driven, the fact that the majority of people having the qualification will push the company to seek actively for the most qualified ones such as higher grades, hold of a master degree or have a practical experience. Therefore, this can push people to become competitive. In contrast to this, having the free university education provides the equal opportunities for all and this will bring the countries beneficial. The free education means the study is open for everyone and even poverty people can have their dreams come true. Previously, people could not afford to attend university as which price was high for most of students. If this becomes free, all students can focus only with their study and this means they are ready to get hired and provide the profit-driven work immediately. Along with that, the more qualification holders mean it is better for the country, because their illiteracy rates will be dropped. The lower illiteracy rates in a country mean people are highly educated and they can foresee the future opportunities. If the country has the lower illiteracy rates, all the residents are ready to be worked at an immediate effect and the country can expect of future economic growth. In addition to this, the free education fees will make students free from students’ debts. Nowadays majority of students are suffered from students’ debts and this will be continued after the graduation. Since many students to put a pressure in life and sometimes difficulty to pay back the debts, it results parents to be responsible for their children’s educational debts. However, all these issues will be disappeared once the university fees are free. In my opinion, giving free educations to all people is opening the potential for both individuals’ and governments’ point of view. People from poverty have the strong desire and creative thinking to survive from the competitive markets and the poor quality of education would not stop their desire to learn. Meanwhile, the university can get the maintenance and other provisions from the government’s patronages. Since the government can be seen this as an investment for the future profits, the financial patronages would not be the big problems for them. Also, the universities can provide the quality of education and materials to students. Therefore, free in educational fees would be more advantageous than that of disadvantages. In conclusion, free education fees could be appeared as a disadvantage for bring immediate effects such as competitive markets and the quality of education and facilities. However, the equal opportunities and the future economic profits are more outweighing than that of its drawbacks. Therefore, free of educational charges would be the effective methods.
In these recent centuries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
costs are
extremely
high. This is due to the inflation where the price of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
increased
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
costs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can enjoy studying and this can be advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individual’s perspective.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
charges can create several problems. The
first
and foremost problem is the reduction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and the facilities. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
finances for maintenance by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
the maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and facility would be difficult. This can result in a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and facilities.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be graduated
with a degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
.
In other words
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would hold of a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
, the market will be competitive. Since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is seeking for the most suitable and best employee to be profit-driven, the fact that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
will push the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to seek
actively
for the most qualified ones such as higher grades, hold of a master degree or have a practical experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, this can push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become competitive.

In contrast
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides the equal opportunities for all and this will bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
beneficial. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
the study is open for everyone and even poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have their dreams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true. Previously,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not afford to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as which price was high for most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If this becomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with their study and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
they are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired and provide the profit-driven work immediately.

Along with that, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
holders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
it is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their illiteracy rates will
be dropped
. The lower illiteracy rates in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
highly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
educated and
they can foresee the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
opportunities. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has the lower illiteracy rates, all the residents are ready to
be worked
at an immediate effect and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
economic growth.

In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
. Nowadays
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are suffered
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
and this will
be continued
after the graduation. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to put a pressure in life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
difficulty to pay back the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
, it results parents to be responsible for their children’s educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
.
However
, all these issues will
be disappeared
once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
are free.

In my opinion, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
opening the potential for both individuals’ and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
point of view.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from poverty have the strong desire and creative thinking to survive from the competitive markets and the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their desire to learn. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maintenance and other provisions from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
patronages. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
this as an investment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
profits, the financial patronages would not be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems for them.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and materials to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
in educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
would be more advantageous than that of disadvantages.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
could
be appeared
as a disadvantage for bring immediate effects such as competitive markets and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and facilities.
However
, the equal opportunities and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
economic profits are more outweighing than that of its drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of educational charges would be the effective methods.
22Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
95Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Students have a right to get education and university education fees should be freely available. v. 2

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
594 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts