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Students can become very tired both emotionally and physically when they are preparing for an examination. How can they look after their health while they are studying? v.2

Students can become very tired both emotionally and physically when they are preparing for an examination. How can they look after their health while they are studying? v. 2
It is a fact that most students are stressed when they face examination. In order to pass the test, they must focus and study hard, and consequently they get tired both mentally and physically. I personally think that there are several things that students must notice during this period and the following essay will discuss them in details. It is undeniable that the most stressful part of students' life is when they face examination. The pressure to obtain good grade and pass the test have significantly affected to students' mental and physic condition, as they have studied for such long hours in their room. In certain cases, some of the students got sick after they have done the examination, while in another case, several of the students got depressed and paranoia. In order to avoid any negative things happen to students during the examination preparation period, there are several things that they could do. Firstly, students should learn to manage their time properly. By setting their time and priorities properly, they could balance between their study and relaxation time. Secondly, during this period, students should also do some light exercises. Based on the scientific research, it is found that doing some physical exercises will affect to the human body's blood circulation, which will give positive effect to the brain performance. Lastly, they should consume healthy foods and consume multivitamins, in order to keep their body strong and healthy. Choosing the right types of diets and taking some supplements will help them in maintaining their stamina and avoiding any illness. In conclusion, it is true that students could become tired and weary when they prepare for the examination. I believe that there are some things that student could do to anticipate any bad things happen to them, such as managing their time properly, doing some light exercises and consuming the right types of food. I am sure that that, by doing these kinds of things, students will get their maximum results in their exam and they will be physically healthy.
It is a fact that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
when they face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
. In order to pass the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus and study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, and
consequently
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired both mentally and
physically
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are several things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
notice during this period and the following essay will discuss them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

It is undeniable that the most stressful part of students' life is when they face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
. The pressure to obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade and pass the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
have
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to students' mental and physic condition, as they have studied for such long hours in their room. In certain cases,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sick after they have done the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
, while in another case, several of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
depressed and paranoia.

In order to avoid any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things happen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
preparation period, there are several things that they could do.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
properly
. By setting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and priorities
properly
, they could balance between their study and relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, during this period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
also
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light exercises. Based on the scientific research, it
is found
that doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical exercises will affect to the human body's blood circulation, which will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect to the brain performance.
Lastly
, they should consume healthy foods and consume multivitamins, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their body strong and healthy. Choosing the right types of diets and taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supplements will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in maintaining their stamina and avoiding any illness.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could become tired and weary when they prepare for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
. I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
could do to anticipate any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things happen to them, such as managing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
properly
, doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light exercises and consuming the right types of food. I am sure
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
, by doing these kinds of things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their maximum results in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exam and
they will be
physically
healthy.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Students can become very tired both emotionally and physically when they are preparing for an examination. How can they look after their health while they are studying? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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