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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to the individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. v.12

Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to the individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. v. 12
Music is considered as the foods for our souls and its relationship with human race is so intense that we cannot think of a single country or society that does not have its own music. Music is related to our relaxation, our festival, our national pride, prayer, daily activities, joys, celebration and many important aspects of our personal and social life. I believe that pure music is always pleasing and brings benefits to both society and culture. The negative effect of music is so unheard of and I believe that we need music for our personal motivation, festivals, celebration, different occasions and expressing our inner joys and respect for things we love. First of all, music is a form of joy which is tied with our existence. It is a form of expression which can be understood and expressed so easily. Possibly music is the only form of art that we can feel so deeply and need in every part of our personal and social life. Music is the composition of lyrics, melody, instruments, feelings and experience that articulate our life and we have our favourite music based on our understanding and preference. Other forms of arts are restricted within a perimeter but music has no boundaries- it lives beyond ages and borders. Positive influences of music are enormous – it heals our wound, it motivates us, it refreshes our mind, it reminds us our past and the list goes on and on. The music a society or country adopts reflects its traditions, cultures, history and unique features. The national anthem- which is also a music- is revered by all the countrymen and inspires people. Music is a part of prayer in many religions and cultures. Now if we judge how music can bring negative effects, which I do not agree with, we will have to consider the people who are basically claiming it.   When people say that foreign music is harmful to a particular tradition, they are not actually complaining about the music, rather people’s choice of music. The generation gap is another reason that can bring up the opinions that modern music is harmful to young people. That’s something I also disagree. This generation gap exists in all centuries and it is pretty common that older generation would complain about the choice made by the new generation, especially in music. Finally, it is really hard to find an individual who does not like music. His music choice might be different but his overall need and feelings for music are positive. The music is an important part of a society and every society has its relationship with music. The music reflects a society and the unique way of life in that society. In conclusion, I think music plays an important role in our life and its relationship with a society or country is unparalleled. The negative effects of music on an individual or society is a rare issue which we can easily control with our love to our own tradition. The positive aspects of music and its need in our life are endless.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is considered
as the foods for our souls and its relationship with human race is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
intense that we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of a single country or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that does not have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is related
to our relaxation, our festival, our national pride, prayer, daily activities, joys, celebration and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of our personal and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I believe that pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is always pleasing and brings benefits to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and culture. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unheard of and I believe that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for our personal motivation, festivals, celebration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occasions and expressing our inner joys and respect for things we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of joy which
is tied
with our existence. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of expression which can
be understood
and expressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easily
.
Possibly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of art that we can feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deeply
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
in every part of our personal and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is the composition of lyrics, melody, instruments, feelings and experience that articulate our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
we have our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
based on our understanding and preference. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of arts
are restricted
within a perimeter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has no boundaries- it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
beyond ages and borders.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Positive
influences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are enormous
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
it heals our wound, it motivates us, it refreshes our mind, it reminds us our past and the list goes on and on. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or country adopts reflects its traditions, cultures, history and unique features. The national anthem- which is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music-
is revered
by all the countrymen and inspires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a part of prayer in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
religions and cultures.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
if we judge how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, which I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
basically
claiming it.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is harmful to a particular tradition, they are not actually complaining about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The generation gap is another reason that can bring up the opinions that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is harmful to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That’s something I
also
disagree. This generation gap exists in all centuries and it is pretty common that older generation would complain about the choice made by the new generation,
especially
in music.

Finally
, it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find an individual who does not like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
choice might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
and feelings for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has its relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
reflects a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the unique way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in that society.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and its relationship with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or country
is unparalleled
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on an individual or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is a rare issue which we can
easily
control with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradition. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are endless.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to the individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. v. 12

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
515 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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