Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be healthy and have a balanced diet. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. v.1

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be healthy and have a balanced diet. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. v. 1
Promoting good health is essential for children towards his own well-being. At home, parents should teach their children about the importance of eating a balanced diet. Children ought to learn healthy lifestyle from parents and that would make a healthy nation. However, others believed that school is the best place to learn this. This essay will examine both sides of the arguments. There is no doubt that parents have great responsibilities in their children's diet and health. First, is to make healthful food choices. Since they are the one who provide meals, it is their responsibility to ensure these meals are nutritious and healthy. Secondly, parents should encourage their children to avoid junk foods and sugary snacks during the day. Giving emphasis on what foods to be avoided and serving a variety of foods with fruits and vegetables every day. However, a school has a lot to offer that covers many aspects of promoting a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet. Health education has always been a part of school curriculum which helped children understanding the importance of having a healthy diet and developing healthy eating habits. Children are exposed to a variety of health themes in school such as disease prevention, physical activity and nutrition to raise healthy behaviours. In addition, they have useful tools and resources offered as part of the lesson. For example, kitchen and food garden lessons at school that connects students to the healthy lifestyle. Moreover, a school has broad health topics including nutrition guidelines, physical fitness that elicits health promotion. On balance, having considering both sides of the issues, although parents have the ultimate responsibility to their children about healthcare and balanced diet, I would agree that school is the best place to learn healthy habits and proper diet. Parents should continue encouraging their youngster to make healthy food choices while school teaches them everything how to improve children's health.
Promoting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
towards his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
well-being. At home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the importance of eating a balanced diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
ought to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
nation.
However
, others believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place to learn this. This essay will examine both sides of the arguments.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have great responsibilities in their children's diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
First
, is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices. Since they are the one who provide meals, it is their responsibility to ensure these meals are nutritious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to avoid junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and sugary snacks during the day. Giving emphasis on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to
be avoided
and serving a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
with fruits and vegetables every day.

However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has a lot to offer that covers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle and balanced diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
education has always been a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
understanding the importance of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are exposed
to a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
themes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
such as disease prevention, physical activity and nutrition to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
In addition
, they have useful tools and resources offered as part of the lesson.
For example
, kitchen and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
garden lessons at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that connects students to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
topics including nutrition guidelines, physical fitness that elicits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
promotion.

On balance, having considering both sides of the issues, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the ultimate responsibility to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about healthcare and balanced diet, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
habits and proper diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should continue encouraging their youngster to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teaches them everything how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be healthy and have a balanced diet. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts