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Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass the exam, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass the exam, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. v. 2
Education plays a vital role in everyone's soul. Nowadays, People think that with practical skills are more important than education gained from books. So, I completely disagree with this statement because cooking and other practices are equally important as academic education. To begin with, the first point I would like to explain that skill like mechanical, Plumber and woodwork required more practical knowledge as compared to academic education. For example, if someone studying in the automobile field. He has to spend more time in workshop to gain knowledge about each and every part of cars or trucks become books only can teach them theory. Furthermore, academic skills are good in school or college activity to clear class exams, but children also spend most of their time at home after school. For instance, countries like India girl need to learn about cooking, cleaning or other home stuff side by side their school or college study of their married life becomes this is a tradition. On the other hand, some people think that Students should focus on academic studies for their better future in some special jobs. Such as, jobs like bank manager and accountant or writers. They have to read so many books to clear their academic exams. To sum up, Academic knowledge or practical skills are two sides of a cousin. Both have their own importance in everyone's life.
Education plays a vital role in everyone's soul. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that with practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than education gained from books.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I completely disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cooking and other practices are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
education.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
point I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
like mechanical, Plumber and woodwork required more practical knowledge as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
education.
For example
, if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "studies", "studied".
studying
in the automobile field. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend more time in workshop to gain knowledge about each and every part of cars or trucks become books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can teach them theory.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in school or college activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
exams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
children
also
spend most of their time at home after school.
For instance
, countries like India girl need to learn about cooking, cleaning or other home stuff side by side their school or college study of their married life becomes this is a tradition.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that Students should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies for their better future in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special jobs. Such as, jobs like bank manager and accountant or writers. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
exams.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academic
knowledge or practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are two sides of a cousin. Both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance in everyone's life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass the exam, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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