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Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggests? v.2

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggests? v. 2
Today's demands and pressures will guarantee that all human beings will experience stress as it is simply a by-product of life. People are suffering from sickness due to the proliferation of tensity. This essay will discuss the reasons why stress related health problems occurring as well as put forward several solutions to tackle this issue. To begin with, there are an astronomical number of reasons behind this disorder, the first that strikes my mind is the fear of failure. People are afraid of losing and consequently put a lot of pressure, which in turn is bad for their fitness. Particularly, working for longer hours has a negative impact on health. For example, research of Oxford university says that students in India and USA have supplemental tension during their examination. Additionally, unhealthy eating habits also leads to anxiety. People are less concerned about the diet due to a sedentary lifestyle. Youngsters likely prefer fast food. This often results in a health epidemic because of the dearth of dietary patterns and work pressure. Tackling this issue involves maintaining a good work-life balance as enjoyable jobs lighten the burden of work. We need to learn if we live only for the jobs, we will experience hardship either physically or mentally. To illustrate, it is pondered that dwellers are more productive when they perform under the flexible working hours. In addition, a healthy diet plays a pivotal role in a hassle-free lifestyle. Even if we are doing regular exercise, good food ought to be compulsory. Therefore, in order to reduce tensity of work one must involve a better ratio of tasks, rest and balanced food substitutes. In conclusion, nowadays more and more people are influenced by distress. Unless efforts are made to shift a healthy, balanced lifestyle, this problem will only escalate. Individuals need to understand the significance of work-life fit.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's demands and pressures will guarantee that all human beings will experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as it is
simply
a by-product of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are suffering from sickness due to the proliferation of tensity. This essay will discuss the reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
related health problems occurring
as well
as put forward several solutions to tackle this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are an astronomical number of reasons behind this disorder, the
first
that strikes my mind is the fear of failure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are afraid of losing and
consequently
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure, which in turn is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their fitness.
Particularly
, working for longer hours has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on health.
For example
, research of Oxford university says that students in India and USA have supplemental tension during their examination.
Additionally
, unhealthy eating habits
also
leads to anxiety.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are less concerned about the diet due to a sedentary lifestyle. Youngsters likely prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in a health epidemic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the dearth of dietary patterns and work pressure.

Tackling this issue involves maintaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life balance as enjoyable jobs lighten the burden of work. We need to learn if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the jobs, we will experience hardship either
physically
or mentally. To illustrate, it
is pondered
that dwellers are more productive when they perform under the flexible working hours.
In addition
, a healthy diet plays a pivotal role in a hassle-free lifestyle. Even if we are doing regular exercise,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food ought to be compulsory.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
tensity of work one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
involve a better ratio of tasks, rest and balanced food substitutes.

In conclusion
, nowadays more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
by distress. Unless efforts
are made
to shift a healthy, balanced lifestyle, this problem will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
escalate. Individuals need to understand the significance of work-life fit.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggests? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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