Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays, families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.6

Nowadays, families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. v. 6
Immigration has been all the rage in today’s world. Opinions differ from whether or not children will be benefitted when their parents relocate to another country for work. These views will be discussed in the essay below, followed by my personal perspective at the end. There are several reasons why people think it is advantageous for children to move with their parents to other countries. First, living in different places allows the kids to expose to various cultures and lifestyles, thus broadening their horizons and leading them to be more flexible and adaptable. To be precise, those who have lived in any Southeast Asian countries like Indonesia before would probably be able to walk confidently in streets in Vietnam due to the similarities in the transportation of the two countries. Second, relocating to a new country, especially developed countries, offers young children an opportunity to learn a new language and access to better education. This might bring the prospect of a better life for them in the future since education plays an important role in everyone’s life, particularly children. This is why many people from the Middle East have immigrated to Europe and United States recently. On the other hand, opponents believe that this move could do more harm than good for youngsters. Regardless of how good the education the kids are going to have, they might struggle to fit in new schools and to make new friends, especially with the language barrier. Additionally, there is a likelihood for them to face social discrimination, which is unavoidable. For instance, a Muslim student might be mistreated in the Western country that he or she has just moved to due to his or her religion, or a student with a different skin colour could become a victim of some school’s gangs. These issues would leave emotional and psychological pains in children and discourage them to emerge into the new environment, preventing them from moving forward in later periods in their lives. In my opinion, there are both benefits and drawbacks of immigration. Parents should be aware of these and come up with potential solutions to help their offspring overcome initial difficulties and enjoy their lives to the fullest.
Immigration has been all the rage in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. Opinions differ from
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
when their parents relocate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for work. These views will
be discussed
in the essay below, followed by my personal perspective at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with their parents to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
First
, living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the kids to expose to various cultures and lifestyles,
thus
broadening their horizons and leading them to be more flexible and adaptable. To be precise, those who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in any Southeast Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Indonesia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
would
probably
be able to walk
confidently
in streets in Vietnam due to the similarities in the transportation of the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Second, relocating to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
especially
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, offers young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
an opportunity to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language and access to better education. This might bring the prospect of a better life for them in the future since education plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in everyone’s life,
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the Middle East have immigrated to Europe and United States recently.

On the other hand
, opponents believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
could do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for youngsters. Regardless of how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
the education the kids are going to have, they might struggle to fit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
schools and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends,
especially
with the language barrier.
Additionally
, there is a likelihood for them to face social discrimination, which is unavoidable.
For instance
, a Muslim student might
be mistreated
in the Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that he or she has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
religion, or a student with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
skin
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
could become a victim of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school’s gangs. These issues would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
emotional and psychological pains in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and discourage them to emerge into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment, preventing them from moving forward in later periods in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In my opinion, there are both benefits and drawbacks of immigration. Parents should be aware of these and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with potential solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their offspring overcome initial difficulties and enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to the fullest.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts