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Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
Over the last few years, more and more people have been reporting illnesses related to stress. This essay will discuss the two key causes leading to stress related illnesses--longer working hours and financial pressures. This essay will also suggest the solutions to these problems, including improving one's work-life balance and developing a sense of satisfaction. People are working longer hours than ever before. In addition, they also aspire to earn more to have a better lifestyle. This scenario has become quite prevalent in today's corporate world as the workplaces are inculcating a competitive culture while the costs of living is also increasing. For example, people these days want to climb up the corporate ladder faster than their colleagues as it promises them a better salary at the end of the month. This often results in putting extra efforts and extra hours at work which can be a disastrous factor for the personal and mental well-being, thus leading to stress and the related disorders. Maintaining a better work-life balance and developing a sense of satisfaction in life can help mitigate these problems that often cause stress. It is important for one to realise that money is essential, but it is not the only road to happiness, as having a disciplined spending habit can help cope up with the financial pressures. Moreover, having a life outside work is also significant to live a happy life. A recent research from the Harvard Business Review illustrated that people who spent a quality time with their family and friends and slept for more than 7 hours daily were not only highly productive but also less stressed at work. In summary, including quality time in everyday life and worrying less about money can help reduce stress in life. In conclusion, in today's corporate and materialistic world, stress-related illnesses are ubiquitous. This essay discussed how long working hours and financial pressures are leading to stress. This essay also suggested that maintaining a healthy work-life balance and having a discipline in spending habits can help avoid stress and the related ailments.
Over the last few years, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been reporting illnesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the two key causes leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
illnesses--longer working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and financial pressures. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest the solutions to these problems, including improving one's work-life balance and developing a sense of satisfaction.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are working longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
, they
also
aspire to earn more to have a better lifestyle. This scenario has become quite prevalent in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's corporate world as the workplaces are inculcating a competitive culture while the costs of living is
also
increasing.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days want to climb up the corporate ladder faster than their colleagues as it promises them a better salary at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in putting extra efforts and extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at work which can be a disastrous factor for the personal and mental well-being,
thus
leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
disorders.

Maintaining a better work-life balance and developing a sense of satisfaction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
mitigate these problems that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for one to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that money is essential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
road to happiness, as having a disciplined spending habit can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
cope up with the financial pressures.
Moreover
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
outside work is
also
significant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A recent research from the Harvard Business Review illustrated that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spent a quality time with their family and friends and slept for more than 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
daily were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
highly
productive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
at work. In summary, including quality time in everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and worrying less about money can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in life.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's corporate and materialistic world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related illnesses are ubiquitous. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how long working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and financial pressures are leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested that maintaining a healthy work-life balance and having a discipline in spending habits can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
ailments.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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