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Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.3

Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 3
Stress is a strain on an individual which can be physical or emotional and most times, lead to illnesses. In recent times, there has been an increase in stress related illnesses. This essay will discuss the causes (nature of work and large family size) and will also proffer solutions such as placing a limit on work duration and public education on family planning. Stress induced ill health in an individual can be as a result of his job description or expectations from family especially in a large family size. The occupation of a person may require that he spends a long time at work thus causing burn out and strain on the individual. Doctors in Nigeria, for instance, work for about 60 to 70 hours in a week, which is not safe for the patient or the doctor. In addition, the breadwinners of families, especially large families are prone to taking up 2 to 3 jobs to make ends meet and provide for the family. For example, a research done in Zimbabwe showed that the wage earner in a family of 5 works at least 2 jobs and the number of jobs worked increases with an increasing family size. For these reasons, illnesses caused by stress, such as depression and elevated blood pressure are becoming increasingly common. However, there are measures to prevent this rising epidemic namely, implementation of work duration limit and public education on family planning. Government and stakeholders should put a limit to which an individual can work for a day or week. In the UK, for example, the maximum number of hours a doctor can work in a week is 40 hours. In addition, public enlightenment and increased access to family planning services should be done. For instance, a program held by family health initiative in northern Syria, which involved sensitisation, counselling and distribution of contraceptives. Overall, these solutions will curtail the illnesses. In conclusion, stress related illnesses have become a rising epidemic of concern. Overworking due to the kind of occupation of an individual and fending for larger sized families are causes discussed in this essay. This essay also discussed solutions such as placing a maximum limit of working hours and improvement of family planning services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
is a strain on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
which can be physical or emotional and most times, lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
. In recent times, there has been an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
. This essay will discuss the causes (nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size) and will
also
proffer solutions such as placing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
duration and public education on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
induced ill health in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can be
as a result
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
description or expectations from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
especially
in a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size. The occupation of a person may require that he spends a long time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
thus
causing burn out and strain on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. Doctors in Nigeria,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for about 60 to 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in a week, which is not safe for the patient or the doctor.
In addition
, the breadwinners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
especially
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are prone to taking up 2 to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and provide for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For example
, a research done in Zimbabwe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the wage earner in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of 5 works at least 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
worked increases with an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, such as depression and elevated blood pressure are becoming
increasingly
common.

However
, there are measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this rising epidemic
namely
, implementation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
duration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
and public education on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and stakeholders should put a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
to which an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a day or week. In the UK,
for example
, the maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a doctor can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a week is 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
In addition
, public enlightenment and increased access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning services should
be done
.
For instance
, a program held by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
health initiative in northern Syria, which involved
Possible spelling mistake. 'sensitisation' is British English.
sensitisation
, counselling and distribution of contraceptives.
Overall
, these solutions will curtail the illnesses.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
have become a rising epidemic of concern. Overworking due to the kind of occupation of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and fending for larger sized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are causes discussed in this essay. This essay
also
discussed solutions such as placing a maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning services.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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