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In some countries young people are encouraged to work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this v.1

In some countries young people are encouraged to work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this v. 1
In recent years, the young generations are supported to take a gap year after graduating high schools. This essay will provide both benefits and drawbacks of this trend. On the one hand, taking a year out can offer beneficial effects on graduates. In the first place, they can handle their financial problems. For instance, they can search for some jobs which not required university degree such as: nail-makers, beauticians, waiters. According to the survey of a newspaper in Vietnam (2015), the income of a beautician is nearly 40 million VND per month, which is higher five-times than an office staff’s income. Additionally, those who dropping university can gain an enormous number of experiences and skills from the gap year. Working volunteer in non-profitable organizations is one salient example in this situation. The students can make new friends, help people, learn such skills as teamwork, time-management, interpersonal skills. On the other hand, skipping university can have some drawbacks for students. Firstly, they cannot have a higher degree to look for white-colar jobs such as teachers, doctors, interpreters or translators. For example, in order to be a translator, the students have to study foreign languages and translation skills which cannot be provided without university. The second impact is that the students will lose their interest in studying and researching because of the relaxing breaks. As a result, they will experience a variety of obstacles to earn their living. In conclusion, although taking a gap year provides finances and experiences for students, this trend can have bad effects on their study career.
In recent years, the young generations
are supported
to take a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after graduating high schools. This essay will provide both benefits and drawbacks of this trend.

On the one hand, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
out can offer beneficial effects on graduates. In the
first
place, they can handle their financial problems.
For instance
, they can search for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs which not required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree such as: nail-makers, beauticians, waiters. According to the survey of a newspaper in Vietnam (2015), the income of a beautician is
nearly
40 million VND per month, which is higher five-times than an office staff’s income.
Additionally
, those who dropping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can gain an enormous number of experiences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from the gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Working volunteer in non-profitable organizations is one salient example in this situation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, learn such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as teamwork, time-management, interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, skipping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
, they cannot have a higher degree to look for
Possible spelling mistake found.
white-colar
jobs such as teachers, doctors, interpreters or translators.
For example
, in order to be a translator, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study foreign languages and translation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which cannot
be provided
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The second impact is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will lose their interest in studying and researching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the relaxing breaks.
As a result
, they will experience a variety of obstacles to earn their living.

In conclusion
, although taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
provides finances and experiences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, this trend can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on their study career.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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