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Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? v.3

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? v. 3
Many people have to deal with stress, which is very common in the modern world. Various factors in today’s life are responsible for it and there are possible ways to reduce its effects. It is obvious that the world is giving people intensifying situations that can ultimately lead to stress. First of all, it ís caused from disrupting changes in life such as divorce or separation and job lost. External stressors not only include negative situations but also positive event that can make you feel excited. Major changes in life can both give people anxiety and excitement, however, they will completely interrupt everyday routine and these force people to adjust their lives. As a result, being responsible for finding solution in every life event causes stress. However, not all stress is caused by external factors, but internal one such as pessimism or unrealistic expectation. It can create pressure about anything that may happen to your life and give a person exaggerated anxiety which finally can lead to stress. Stress is a serious mental health problem that can develop many other health issues such as depression, insomnia, etc. Therefore, it is important to seek for effective solutions to it. One way is to form a healthy relationship with stress. There will always be stress in life and no one can ignore it. Therefore, by considering stress as a motivation to help you overcome challenges can help to balance your nervous system. Another way is to change your lifestyle. Exercising frequently is a measure to release endorphins, which can improve the mood quickly and eating healthy can minimize any negative effect to your body. To conclude, stress is a problem that everyone has to face. Consequently, individuals should take action in order to deal with it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in the modern world. Various factors in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are responsible for it and there are possible ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its effects.

It is obvious that the world is giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intensifying situations that can
ultimately
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
ís
caused from disrupting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as divorce or separation and job lost. External stressors not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel excited. Major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can both give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
anxiety and excitement,
however
, they will completely interrupt everyday routine and these force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adjust their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
As a result
, being responsible for finding solution in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
However
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is caused
by external factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
internal one such as pessimism or unrealistic expectation. It can create pressure about anything that may happen to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and give a person exaggerated anxiety which
finally
can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
is a serious mental health problem that can develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other health issues such as depression, insomnia, etc.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to seek for effective solutions to it. One way is to form a healthy relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. There will always be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
it.
Therefore
, by considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
as a motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you overcome challenges can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to balance your nervous system. Another way is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your lifestyle. Exercising
frequently
is a measure to release endorphins, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the mood
quickly
and eating healthy can minimize any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect to your body.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is a problem that everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face.
Consequently
, individuals should take action in order to deal with it.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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