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Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? v.5

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? v. 5
These days, it is being observed that stress is a main issue in most countries throughout the world. From my point of view, there are some reasons contributing to this problem; however, some solutions could be useful to deal with it which I will elaborate on in this essay. The first reason of this problem could be modern lifestyle. Today, most people in many countries in the world are involved in financial issues due to economic stagnation and inflation. People have to endure hectic lifestyle as well as too much work in order to meet their financial needs. What financial problems do is expose people to stress and anxiety. Another reason of stress is mass media. One’s mind is reported to can be affected by watching, hearing and reading news. In today’s societies, having access to news has become much easier. Facing horrible and upsetting news, people get stressed. Subsequently, most people feel stressed in the 21th century. Nevertheless, there are two workable solutions to this problem. One step would be taking up a new exercise. Most individuals can practice some sports even at home such as yoga and aerobic by following sport training programs on TV or virtual networks. They can put the fizz back into their life and get away from stressful life by exercising on a regular basis. Another viable solution is modifying eating habits. That having healthy diet can improve immune system is considered to be a major advantage, which can relieve stress. Consequently, these solutions seem to be useful and applicable. In conclusion, to reiterate, although stress can be a main issue in today’s world because of modern lifestyle and mass media, the suggested solutions which are exercising and modifying food habits, could be beneficial. If people became aware of the effects of this problem, they could control their stress better than before.
These days, it is
being observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is a main issue in most countries throughout the world. From my point of view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons contributing to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
could be useful to deal with it which I will elaborate on in this essay.

The
first
reason of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
could be modern lifestyle.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the world
are involved
in financial issues due to economic stagnation and inflation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
endure hectic lifestyle
as well
as too much work in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their financial needs. What financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
do is expose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and anxiety. Another reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is mass media. One’s mind
is reported
to can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by watching, hearing and reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s societies, having access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has become much easier. Facing horrible and upsetting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
Subsequently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
in the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century.

Nevertheless
, there are two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. One step would be taking up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
exercise. Most individuals can practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports even at home such as yoga and aerobic by following sport training programs on TV or virtual networks. They can put the fizz back into their life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from stressful life by exercising on a regular basis. Another viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is modifying eating habits. That having healthy diet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
immune system
is considered
to be a major advantage, which can relieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
seem to be useful and applicable.

In conclusion
, to reiterate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
can be a main issue in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of modern lifestyle and mass media, the suggested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
which are exercising and modifying food habits, could be beneficial. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became aware of the effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, they could control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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