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Some students choose to study in another country for a time during high school or university. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? v.1

Some students choose to study in another country for a time during high school or university. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? v. 1
There is a general concensus that in comtemporary society, the number of students diciding to study abroad for a time during high school or university has an upward trend. Although the benefits that it has brought are undeniable, its drawbacks should not be ignored. On the one hand, studying in another country can help students have a brighter future and an independent life. It is clearly seen that people who study abroad will have more chance to get a well- paid job because of international certificates. They are trained to become global citizens, they have essential skills including language, I. T, . . . to work at any countries. Moreover, when students choosing to study at high schools or tertiary institutions in another country, they will live under new environment, which gets them out of their comfort vibe and and become more independent. On the other hand, studying abroad has two major downsides that students can experience. Firstly, some students will struggle to finance, because standard of living in developed countries is higher than that of their country. Therefore, many students have to have part- time jobs to help their parents to pay fee for high- cost education. Secondly, homesichness is the issue that exchange students face. Despite living in more attractive environment, they still miss their family and their country. A recent research shows that ninety- two percent of international students feel homesick when studying abroad. In conclusion, studying abroad for a time during high school or third- level school helps students to widen their knowledge and have a better life, but they have to experience some difficulties such as finance or homesichkness. However, I strongly believe that the advantages this trend has brought outweigh the disadvantages.
There is a general
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concensus
that in
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comtemporary
society, the number of
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students
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diciding
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for a time during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or university has an upward trend. Although the benefits that it has brought are undeniable, its drawbacks should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a brighter future and an independent life. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
will have more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well- paid job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of international certificates. They
are trained
to become global citizens, they have essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
including language, I. T
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
work at any
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countries
.
Moreover
, when
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students
choosing to study at
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or tertiary institutions in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under new environment, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
them out of their comfort vibe
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and and
become more independent.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has two major downsides that
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students
can experience.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will struggle to finance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
standard of living in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is higher than that of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have part- time jobs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents to pay fee for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-
cost education.
Secondly
,
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homesichness
is the issue that exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face. Despite living in more attractive environment, they
still
miss their family and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. A recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that ninety- two percent of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel homesick when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad.

In conclusion
,
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studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for a time during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or third- level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to widen their knowledge and have a better life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties such as finance or
Possible spelling mistake found.
homesichkness
.
However
, I
strongly
believe that the advantages this trend has brought outweigh the disadvantages.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some students choose to study in another country for a time during high school or university. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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