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Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v.4

Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 4
Nowadays, the question of whether the government should pay for children's education or not has been receiving a great deal of public attention. although this assistance is not without the disadvantages, the upsides will be far more significant. There are a number of drawbacks of this sponsorship. first, since a sustainable development of the nation requires to have many investments in many fields, paying all the costs on children' schooling fee can put more burden on national budgets. In fact, the governments need to find properly for many key areas such as economy, sport, healthcarer, which implies that every citizen should shoulder the responsibility of their children's fee in studying. second, by supporting children's education, either a part or all the costs, the goverment could create unfair to childless people. this means that they may feel angry or irritated if their tax income is not spent on their benefits. nevertheless, other benefits of education sponsorship for children' schooling fee is far more significant. first, in order to guarantee the qualified work down on the road investing for children's education is considered as a win-win solution. this means that meagre income families can let their children go to school, which will turn bring national workforce an array of benefits in the sense that young people will become qualified and talented employees. second, if parents released the burden from children' studying fee, there is a chance for them could have a good take care of their offspring like clothes, food, which improves their standard living In conclusion, it is a wise decision when the governments are declined to finance children's education, even some or all the costs, despite some downsides anticipated, by acknowing the importance of children's education, officers will lead their country to a higher level of development
Nowadays,
the question of whether
the
government
should pay for
children's
education
or not has been receiving a great deal of public attention.
although
this assistance is not without the disadvantages, the upsides will be far more significant.

There are a number of drawbacks of this sponsorship.
first
, since a sustainable development of the nation requires to have
many
investments in
many
fields, paying all the costs on
children'
schooling
fee
can put more burden on national budgets. In fact, the
governments
need to find
properly
for
many
key areas such as economy, sport,
healthcarer
, which implies that every citizen should shoulder the responsibility of their
children's
fee
in studying.
second
, by supporting
children's
education
, either a part or all the costs, the
goverment
could create unfair to childless
people
.
this
means that they may feel angry or irritated if their tax income is not spent on their benefits.

nevertheless
, other benefits of
education
sponsorship for
children'
schooling
fee
is far more significant.
first
, in order to guarantee the qualified work down on the road investing for
children's
education
is considered
as a win-win solution.
this
means that
meagre
income families can
let
their children go to school, which will turn bring national workforce an array of benefits in the sense that young
people
will become qualified and talented employees.
second
, if parents released the burden from
children'
studying
fee
, there is a chance for them could have a
good
take care of their offspring like clothes, food, which
improves
their standard living

In conclusion
, it is a wise decision when the
governments
are declined
to finance
children's
education
, even
some
or all the costs, despite
some
downsides anticipated, by
acknowing
the importance of
children's
education
, officers will lead their country to a higher level of development
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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