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Stores should sell local food products and not imported food products. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Stores should sell local food products and not imported food products. v. 2
Food products and their demand had increased drastically due to the growing need of the population. Some people think departmental stores and other supermarkets should increase the sale of local food items rather than the imported ones. In my opinion, this essay will discuss that the promotion of local products is more important and necessary compared to others. As a rule, people always tend to buy items that are healthier and hygienic. The promotion of local foodstuff in the stores could have a major impact on the farmers and local producers of food within the region. Although local vendors could benefit by selling anything, the sellers would face hindrances. For instance, if any product that is sold by both the local and the imported seller, people often tend to go for the imported item as they think those are more presentable and healthier than the local ones. This could impact the sales of the local seller and bring down their business drastically. So the vendors should always tend to promote more local food rather than the others. Furthermore, people should think about the tax charges on these foreign products before investing their money. For instance, the most intriguing part is that the tax imposed on these shipped products is way higher than that of the local items. So the circulation of these products should be reduced by a humongous number. Also, many local families depend on the sale of local products for their daily wages. Thus, if this goes down, they would face lots of adversities to drive their day to day lives. Hence, to support them, people should encourage buying country eatables and products. Finally, supporting and promoting local products could improve the life of farmers and many daily wage workers. Therefore, it could also bring down the foreign currency rates and could increase the overall GDP of our country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and their demand had increased
drastically
due to the growing need of the population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
departmental stores and other supermarkets should increase the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
rather
than the imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. In my opinion, this essay will discuss that the promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and necessary compared to others.

As a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that are healthier and hygienic. The promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
foodstuff in the stores could have a major impact on the farmers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
producers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
within the region. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors could benefit by selling anything, the sellers would face hindrances.
For instance
, if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
is sold
by both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and the imported seller,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to go for the imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
those are more presentable and healthier than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. This could impact the sales of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
seller and bring down their business
drastically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the vendors should always tend to promote more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than the others.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the tax charges on these foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
investing their money.
For instance
, the most intriguing part is that the tax imposed on these shipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is way higher than that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the circulation of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by a humongous number.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
families depend on the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for their daily wages.
Thus
, if this goes down, they would face lots of adversities to drive their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Hence
, to support them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should encourage buying country eatables and products.

Finally
, supporting and promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life of farmers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
daily wage workers.
Therefore
, it could
also
bring down the foreign currency rates and could increase the
overall
GDP of our country.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Stores should sell local food products and not imported food products. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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