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Stores should sell local food products and not the imported food products. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Stores should sell local food products and not the imported food products. v. 1
Many commentators argue that shops should bring up local food products rather than selling imported food products from foreign countries owing to its adverse impact on economy. For several reasons, which will be presented below, I strongly disagree with this stance. First and foremost, it is an indisputable fact that a variety of countries do not have sufficient resources or conditions to produce certain eatable products. Therefore, local stores which offer only traditional items are unable to satisfy the need of the locals. For instance, countries with low temperatures in frigid zone such as Japan, North of Korea prefer to import some kinds of fruit found only in tropical countries. Besides, nowadays, with advances in technology, there is a plethora of methods which perfectly preserve food for a long period till it reaches our dinning table as fresh as processed. Thanks to imported food, individuals can enjoy many flavours of food from all around the world in their hometown. Furthermore, the right imported food products consumption might be the motivation to increase competition in market. This will be a constructive trend that made local manufacturers to compete over their qualities and prices of their food. As a result, local customers shall benefit from cheaper and better food products. The contribution of right imported food products in giving more benefits to the customers is recognizable. All things considered, selling food manufactured by other nations has a wide range of advantages to customers. Given that, countries should make a collective effort to encourage the right products to be imported as well as promote local food commodities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
commentators argue that shops should bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
rather
than selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
owing to its adverse impact on economy. For several reasons, which will
be presented
below, I
strongly
disagree with this stance.

First
and foremost, it is an indisputable fact that a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have sufficient resources or conditions to produce certain eatable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores which offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
traditional items are unable to satisfy the need of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with low temperatures in frigid zone such as Japan, North of Korea prefer to import
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of fruit found
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in tropical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Besides
, nowadays, with advances in technology, there is a plethora of methods which
perfectly
preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for a long period till it reaches our dinning table as fresh as processed. Thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, individuals can enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from all around the world in their hometown.

Furthermore
, the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
consumption might be the motivation to increase competition in market. This will be a constructive trend that made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
manufacturers to compete over their qualities and prices of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customers shall benefit from cheaper and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The contribution of right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in giving more benefits to the customers is recognizable.

All things considered, selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
manufactured by other nations has a wide range of advantages to customers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a collective effort to encourage the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
as well
as promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
commodities.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Stores should sell local food products and not the imported food products. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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