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Some people say that shops should sell food products from the local area whenever possible rather than sell food imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that shops should sell food products from the local area whenever possible rather than sell food imported from other countries. v. 1
Due to globalization, importing and exporting of goods including food has become increasingly common. Some people may argue that this is good as they can taste a variety of foods, but I hold the opinion that local food should be given priority over the food from foreign countries as it is fresh and less costly. First of all, I believe that food that is produced in your own country is fresher as it may be brought to stores on a daily basis. On the other hand, food which is brought from other countries is usually stored in cold warehouses and preservatives are used so that food does not get spoiled. There is a difference in the quality of food which is naturally fresh and that which is kept at low temperatures to keep it fresh. It is a well known fact that the fresher the food, healthier the people. Doctors usually advise people to avoid frozen and processed food which can be easily done by eating locally produced food. Secondly, food grown and sold locally is less expensive as compared to the food which is imported. The reason being there is no additional transportation and storage costs for food to bring to stores. For example, If vegetables are to be imported to Canada from India due to the growing population of Indians here, it will involve high shipment costs. In conclusion, I strongly agree that food which is grown in your native area is cheaper and of good quality as it is not preserved for longer times as it needs to be done for the food which is brought from other countries.
Due to globalization, importing and exporting of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become
increasingly
common.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may argue that this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as they can taste a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I hold the opinion that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as it is fresh and less costly.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that
is produced
in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is fresher as it may
be brought
to stores on a daily basis.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is brought
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
usually
stored in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
warehouses and preservatives are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
spoiled. There is a difference in the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is
naturally
fresh and that which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
at low temperatures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it fresh. It is a well known fact that the fresher the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, healthier the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Doctors
usually
advise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to avoid frozen and processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which can be
easily
done by eating
locally
produced food.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
grown and sold
locally
is less expensive as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is imported
. The reason being there is no additional transportation and storage costs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to bring to stores.
For example
, If vegetables are to
be imported
to Canada from India due to the growing population of Indians here, it will involve high shipment costs.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is grown
in your native area is cheaper and of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality as it is not preserved for longer times as it needs to
be done
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is brought
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people say that shops should sell food products from the local area whenever possible rather than sell food imported from other countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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