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Stay or move13. Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of anoth v.1

Stay or move13. Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of anoth v. 1
Few parents fulfil their kids all wishes, whether they want to purchase an item or looking to do some activity. In my opinion, this style of kids upbringing is a negative approach, and it will exert some immediate adverse effect on their attitude and behaviour towards other people. In my perspective, raising children is a crucial and complex task of parents' life and they want to complete each desire of them. However, parents should allow some freedom for their kids in aspect of their life, but authorizing them to do anything can lead their vulnerable minds to indulge into illegal activities. This can ruin their whole life. According to a survey of the Oxford University, kids in developed nations are less respectful towards laws and society because they barely face any inconvenience in their childhood, and their parents had let them do whatever they want without any consent or restriction. In the long run, the consequences are even direr as over-indulged children grow up. If parents unconditionally satisfy all the needs of their children, they may have inadvertently made their children become over-dependent on other people. When these children enter adulthood, the inability to live independently can cause some difficulties for them to maintain their overall well-being, for instance, they may be unaware of what to do when they catch a fever. Furthermore, it is a norm that over-indulgent parents are lenient and do not require children to face the consequences of their misbehaviour. In general, this deprives children of the opportunities to learn from mistakes, which may cause their problem solving skills to be severely lacking in the future. In conclusion, one can conclude that over-indulgence may produce a number of unfavourable effects on children, including the delay in gaining crucial life skills such as self-feeding and the long-term consequence of lacking the ability to cope with problems as adults in the future.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
fulfil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
all wishes, whether they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
an item or looking to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activity. In my opinion, this style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
upbringing is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
approach, and it will exert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
immediate adverse effect on their attitude and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
towards other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In my perspective, raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a crucial and complex task of parents'
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they want to complete each desire of them.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
freedom for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in aspect of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
authorizing them to do anything can lead their vulnerable minds to indulge into illegal activities. This can ruin their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. According to a survey of the Oxford University,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in developed nations are less respectful towards laws and society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
barely
face any inconvenience in their childhood, and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them do whatever they want without any consent or restriction.

In the long run, the consequences are even direr
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
over-indulged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
unconditionally
satisfy all the needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they may have
inadvertently
made their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become over-dependent on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. When these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enter adulthood, the inability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties for them to maintain their
overall
well-being,
for instance
, they may be unaware of what to do when they catch a fever.
Furthermore
, it is a norm that over-indulgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are lenient and do not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to face the consequences of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
.
In general
, this deprives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of the opportunities to learn from mistakes, which may cause their problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to be
severely
lacking in the future.

In conclusion
, one can conclude that over-indulgence may produce a number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, including the delay in gaining crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as self-feeding and the long-term consequence of lacking the ability to cope with problems as adults in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Stay or move13. Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of anoth v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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