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Small or big11. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

Small or big11. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
Traffic is becoming worse every day and nothing is being done to improve the situation. It's making life in cities unbearable with citizens feeling like they are trapped and suffering from all the noise and the exhaust. But, is banning cars completely from the city centre the solution? While it seems like a radical solution that many may resist, it could actually help. There's no denying that some people will be affected in the process, for instance, some businesses might make losses as people would be less inclined to visit if cars were banned. Some of the car owners may feel like this is a discrimination against them, while others would think that it would make matters more difficult. Nevertheless, it is for the greater good. Think of it, fewer vehicles on the streets definitely make life better. All the time that could be saved, all the health benefits, it's got to be worth the cost. Prohibiting cars would help reduce the emission of exhaust which means a cleaner environment and a better health. Furthermore, this will force people to move around more which can partially help with the problem of obesity, not to mention that the cities would be quitter giving people a chance to relax and enjoy their surroundings. Now, wouldn't that be great! In conclusion, the traffic problem has developed into a drastic situation that must be dealt with, and there's no easy way around it. Sacrifices must be made in order to have a chance for a better life and it is these sacrifices that we count on.
Traffic is becoming worse every day and nothing is
being done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation. It's making life in cities unbearable with citizens feeling like they
are trapped
and suffering from all the noise and the exhaust.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, is banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
completely from the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
the solution?

While it seems like a radical solution that
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
many may
resist, it could actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. There's no denying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in the process,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businesses might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
losses as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be less inclined to visit if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
were banned
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners may feel like this is a discrimination against them, while others would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters more difficult.
Nevertheless
, it is for the greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
of it, fewer vehicles on the streets definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life better. All the time that could
be saved
, all the health benefits, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to be worth the cost. Prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission of exhaust which means a cleaner environment and a better health.
Furthermore
, this will force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around more which can
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the problem of obesity, not to mention that the cities would be quitter giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a chance to relax and enjoy their surroundings.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, wouldn't that be great!

In conclusion
, the traffic problem has developed into a drastic situation that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be dealt
with, and there's no easy way around it. Sacrifices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
in order to have a chance for a better life and it is these sacrifices that we count on.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Small or big11. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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