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All inventions and discoveries like the discovery of fire and electricity have impacts on ourlives so much so that people can no longer live without them. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

All inventions and discoveries like the discovery of fire and electricity have impacts on ourlives so much so that people can no longer live without them. v. 1
With the new inventions and discoveries such as fire and electricity, made the life of humans easier and now it is difficult to survive without them. I strongly agree with this notion. To begin with, there are several benefits with the new inventions and discoveries in science which has made human life much easier. First of all, fire was the first form of energy that humans discovered. Needless to say, humans learnt to survive in colder climates with the discovery of fire as keeping themselves warm was practical now. Furthermore, after survival, humans could focus on development in other spheres of life. Using fire for other purposes, ultimately led to the discovery of machines. Therefore, this discovery revolutionised the life of people. For instance, different machines increased the production of industries such as food and textile which are the basic necessity of public. Similarly, with the introduction of electricity in humans life, salutary of lifestyle was witnessed. Electricity is the basic modern form of energy without which life may come to a stop. Moreover, it is the primary source of power for any appliance in home. Also, electricity has improved the efficiencies of machineries resulting in a higher production in industries and generating huge revenues. It can be proved from the fact that countries which are facing electricity shortages have a decrease in growth of GDP. For example, electricity shortages incurred heavy losses on industries, thus reducing their production. As well as, investors have stopped further investment in Pakistan putting strain on its economy. In conclusion, the development in the fields of science has raised the standard of humans life and it might be difficult to survive in this time without these basic facilities
With the new inventions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
difficult to survive without them. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several benefits with the new inventions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
in science which has made human

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
life
much easier.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
was the
first
form of energy that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
discovered. Needless to say,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
humans


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
learnt
to survive in colder climates with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discovery
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
as keeping themselves warm was practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Furthermore
,

after survival,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
could focus on development in other spheres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
for other purposes,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ultimately


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
led
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discovery
of machines.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discovery
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
different


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
machines
increased the production of industries such as food and textile which are the basic necessity of public.

Similarly
, with the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, salutary of lifestyle
was witnessed
. Electricity

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
the basic modern form of energy without which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
.
Moreover
, it is the primary source of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
power
for any appliance in home.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the efficiencies of
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
resulting in a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
higher
production in industries and generating huge revenues. It can
be proved
from the fact that countries which
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
shortages have a decrease in growth of GDP.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
shortages incurred
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
heavy


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
losses
on industries,
thus
reducing their production.
As well
as, investors have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
further
investment in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Pakistan


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
putting
strain on its economy.

In conclusion
, the development in the fields of science has raised the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it might be difficult

to survive in this time without these basic facilities
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay All inventions and discoveries like the discovery of fire and electricity have impacts on ourlives so much so that people can no longer live without them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
17 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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