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spending money for protecting species is awaste money by some, do you agree or disagree v.1

spending money for protecting species is awaste money by some, v. 1
There is an opinion that primarily spending money for saving species from extinction is a waste of the public fund. However, there remains some disagreement as this money could be better allocated even something relevant issues. In my viewpoint, I strongly support the government initiative otherwise this seriously pose a threat to humans. First of all, it is an indisputable fact that both flora and fauna are well connected; therefore even with the minor changes in the balance can have huge repercussions. Despite the fact that dinosaurs were vanished from the earth, which is considered as a part of evolution and resulted from when they were unable to adapted changing the environment and they died, The current situation may not be approached as did it before. Human are the culprit here - this is because continuous exploitation of nature to meet the increasing demands of them- since they fasten the extinction manifolds. Eventually, this affect living organisms on the earth, being connected each other, the mankind would suffer the most. Yet another point to consider here is that, whatever species endangered from this planet may substantially contribute dying of not only smaller plants but higher animals including the man. Under no circumstances does man allow this is to occur and try really hard to prevent this. Research, moreover, and scientific studies may not be carried out when the lower level of living things face thread of extinction. Similarly, we, human, largely depend on other specie; food, shelter, and medication. By contrast, if channelised investments in the most pressing issues like health or education can have immediate benefits, this may not be enough to tackle real problems of the earth, extinction. By way of conclusion, even though it seems that granting funds in order to protect endangered species, this may be brought a brighter future for the entire word.
There is an opinion that
primarily
spending money for saving species from extinction is a waste of the public fund.
However
, there remains
some
disagreement as this money could be better allocated even something relevant issues. In my viewpoint, I
strongly
support the
government
initiative
otherwise
this
seriously
pose a threat to humans.

First of all
, it is an indisputable fact that both flora and fauna are
well connected
;
therefore
even with the minor
changes
in the balance can have huge repercussions. Despite the fact that dinosaurs
were vanished
from the earth, which
is considered
as a part of evolution and resulted from when they were unable to adapted changing the
environment and
they
died
, The
current
situation may not
be approached
as did it
before
. Human are the culprit here
-
this is
because
continuous exploitation of nature to
meet
the increasing demands of them- since they fasten the extinction manifolds.
Eventually
, this affect living organisms on the earth,
being connected
each other, the mankind would suffer the most.

Yet
another point to consider here is that, whatever species endangered from this planet may
substantially
contribute dying of not
only
smaller plants
but
higher animals including the
man
. Under no circumstances does
man
allow
this is to occur and try
really
hard
to
prevent
this. Research,
moreover
, and scientific studies may not
be carried
out when the lower level of living things face thread of extinction.
Similarly
, we, human,
largely
depend on other
specie
; food, shelter, and medication. By contrast, if
channelised
investments in the most pressing issues like health or education can have immediate benefits, this may not be
enough
to tackle real problems of the earth, extinction.

By way of conclusion,
even though
it seems that granting funds in order to protect endangered species, this may
be brought
a brighter future for the entire word.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay spending money for protecting species is awaste money by some, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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