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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious problems and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems v.11

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious problems and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems v. 11
Urban migration is as a result of more and more companies, industries and conglomerates opening new factories in the urban areas rather than rural areas and this has led to overpopulation, causing government and citizens problems which need to be tackled. This essay will identify these problems as well as proffer solutions which can nip it in the bud. Firstly, the increased number of people in the urban areas has caused serious problems for the transport system. The road transport is the major means of movement, the roads are always congested in the early hours of the day, which results in worker's getting late to their place of work. A ride from Queens road to Stamford bridge usually takes twenty minutes, but due to heavy traffic, it takes about forty five minutes in the mornings. Secondly, the crime rate has increased. Though more factories are opening, the number of unemployment is still low leading to increased crime rate in the city. Many youths are unemployed and jobless. They become thieves overnight, breaking into people's home, while they are asleep, carting away their valuables. Areas in the city where security isn't uptight are mostly affected, especially areas around Peckham and Woolwich. To resolve these issues, the government should provide other means of transportation. The rail system is barely used and doesn't carry enough passengers for a day ride. Government should invest more in the rail system by constructing more railways, stations and purchase modern trains. This will ease the burden on the road and reduce accidents as well as car breakdowns. Also, the government should tackle the insecurity. More policemen should be employed and deployed to areas which are prone to robbery so as to reduce the crime rate. In conclusion, urban migration is a sign of an improved economy for the country, but it shouldn't be a problem causing more harm than good for the citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
migration is
as a result
of more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, industries and conglomerates opening new factories in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
rather
than rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and this has led to overpopulation, causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which need to
be tackled
. This essay will identify these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as well
as proffer solutions which can nip it in the bud.

Firstly
, the increased number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has caused serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for the transport system. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transport is the major means of movement, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are always congested in the early hours of the day, which results in worker's getting late to their place of work. A ride from Queens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to Stamford bridge
usually
takes twenty minutes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to heavy traffic, it takes about
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
forty five
minutes in the mornings.

Secondly
, the crime rate has increased. Though more factories are opening, the number of unemployment is
still
low leading to increased crime rate in the city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youths
are unemployed
and jobless. They become thieves overnight, breaking into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's home, while they are asleep, carting away their valuables.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Areas
in the city where security isn't uptight are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
around
Possible spelling mistake found.
Peckham
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Woolwich
.

To resolve these issues, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide other means of transportation. The rail system is
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and doesn't carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
passengers for a day ride.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should invest more in the rail system by constructing more railways, stations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
modern trains. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
accidents
as well
as car breakdowns.

Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should tackle the insecurity. More policemen should
be employed
and deployed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are prone to robbery
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
migration is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
economy for the country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it shouldn't be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
causing more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the citizens.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious problems and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems v. 11

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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