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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. v. 3
Some argue that families whose children are educated in private schools should not need to contribute to state schools through taxes. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view. There are several reasons why it would be wrong to reduce taxes for families who pay for private education. Firstly, it could be difficult to compute the tax reduction for these families correctly and as a result of that, more government staff would be required for this process. Secondly, it would be unfair that poor people would have to pay more taxes than wealthy people who were reduced taxes for sending their offspring to private schools. Finally, citizens have to pay for public services which they might not need. For example, most people are fortunate enough to live their life without calling the police, but they would not expect to be reduced taxes for this. I would believe that everyone should pay taxes that support the state education system. First of all, public schools, which have much more budget-friendly than private schools, allow all children to get an education. For instance, families, who can’t afford their children to get into private schools, could send their kids to government schools. Moreover, a well-educated workforce is the key to state prosperity. Investing in education and increasing the number of highly-qualified workers can build a strong foundation for economic success. In conclusion, I would think that there is no tax discount should be made for people who choose private schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
whose children
are educated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should not need to contribute to state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view.

There are several reasons why it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Firstly
, it could be difficult to compute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
reduction for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
correctly
and
as a result
of that, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
staff would
be required
for this process.
Secondly
, it would be unfair that poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
than wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for sending their offspring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Finally
, citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for public services which they might not need.
For example
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fortunate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life without calling the police,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for this.

I would believe that everyone should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
that support the state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, which have much more budget-friendly than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
all children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can’t afford their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Moreover
, a well-educated workforce is the key to state prosperity. Investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and increasing the number of
highly
-qualified workers can build a strong foundation for economic success.

In conclusion
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
discount should
be made
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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