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Speaking topic in text: Actor-observer People account for their own behavior differently from how they account for the behavior of others. When observing the behavior of others, we tend to attribute their actions to their character or their personality ra v.1

Speaking topic in text: Actor-observer People account for their own behavior differently from how they account for the behavior of others. When observing the behavior of others, we tend to attribute their actions to their character or their personality ra v. 1
It is argued that hours of doing a job should be limited as doing longer shifts put strain on workers, their family and the community. This essay totally agrees with this viewpoint because working longer can reduce the capability of the employees and they cannot spend quality time with the loved ones. Working more hours can limit the productivity of the worker. Jobs which involve a lot of physical work such as of construction workers requires them to have optimum energy to carry out the task. If these workers do longer shift, they would not have the required amount of energy after some time. An adequate amount of rest is necessary for them to do their job effectively. For example, according to a research published by Oxford University, it was found that employees who worked more hours completed their work less efficiently than jobholders who did not. Additionally, working longer can reduce the amount of quality time that can be spent with the family. An employee, who does a 12 hour shift at a job will not have any energy to engage with the family. It can limit the communication with the family members and thus can cause a negative impact on the family. For instance, a survey conducted by The Hindustan Times found that workers who spent less time at work were having significantly good relations with their family members than other employees. In conclusion, employees who do work for more hours are less productive and are unable to share their valuable time with their loved ones.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
should
be limited
as doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
shifts put strain on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and the community. This essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the capability of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employees and
they cannot spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

Working more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can limit the productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
which involve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
such as of construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
requires them to have optimum energy to carry out the task. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
shift, they would not have the required amount of energy after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. An adequate amount of rest is necessary for them to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
effectively
.
For example
, according to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
published by Oxford University, it
was found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
completed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
less
efficiently
than jobholders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not.

Additionally
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that can
be spent
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does a 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
shift at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will not have any energy to engage with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It can limit the communication with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and
thus
can cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, a survey conducted by The Hindustan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spent less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
were having
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relations with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members than other employees.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are less productive and are unable to share their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Speaking topic in text: Actor-observer People account for their own behavior differently from how they account for the behavior of others. When observing the behavior of others, we tend to attribute their actions to their character or their personality ra v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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