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Actor-observerPeople account for their own behavior differently from how they account for the behaviorof others. When observing the behavior of others, we tend to attribute theiractions to their character or their personality rather than to external facto v.1

Actor-observerPeople account for their own behavior differently from how they account for the behaviorof others. When observing the behavior of others, we tend to attribute theiractions to their character or their personality rather than to external facto v. 1
Since its invention, the internet has brought so many good things; however, some people say that it has negative effects on teenagers, especially in the areas of communication. This essay will argue some of the reasons why cyberspace is seen to be harmful in this way and give possible solutions. There is a great decline in the social skills of adolescents and young adults in recent years. One of the major reasons for this is the easy access to the web, especially in the developed world. Before now, the use of computers and mobile phones was only possible for adults who use them for running their business, but currently, they are at the reach of everyone. As a result, many teenagers get involved in many activities online, such as games and pornography, and the excessive use of these gadgets makes them to be more isolated from friends and even family members. Furthermore, peer influences are magnified on social media sites such as Facebook and Instgram. This might cause teenagers to develop unrealistic expectations, thereby leading to jealousy and self-doubting, which if not controlled could aggravate to depression. In order to solve these problems, parents should make out time to monitor their growing children to know what they do at all times. For example, when I was growing up, my mother made a timetable for my daily routine, and I only watched television and used computer two hours per day. The society could also help by organising some social and game clubs, and encourage adolescents to join. Consequently, these activities would enable them to have physical interactions with others and make new friends. Finally, the government could get involved by bringing up competitions for teens with good prizes for the winners. These competitions could range from academic quizzes to games. In conclusion, internet affects the social skills of young adults and youngsters by causing withdrawal and unrealistic expectations, therefore, parents and government have important roles to play in offering solutions.
Since its invention, the internet has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
especially
in the areas of communication. This essay will argue
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why cyberspace is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be harmful in this way and give possible solutions.

There is a great decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of adolescents and young adults in recent years. One of the major reasons for this is the easy access to the web,
especially
in the developed world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and mobile phones was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible for adults who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for running their business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
currently
, they are at the reach of everyone.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities online, such as games and pornography, and the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to be more isolated from friends and even family members.
Furthermore
, peer influences
are magnified
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media sites such as Facebook and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Instgram
. This might cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to develop unrealistic expectations, thereby leading to jealousy and self-doubting, which
Did you mean "is"?
if
not controlled could aggravate to depression.

In order to solve these problems, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
out time to monitor their growing children to know what they do at all times.
For example
, when I was growing up, my mother made a timetable for my daily routine, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
television and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
computer two hours per day. The society could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and game clubs, and encourage adolescents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
.
Consequently
, these activities would enable them to have physical interactions with others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends.
Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved by bringing up competitions for teens with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
prizes for the winners. These competitions could range from academic quizzes to games.

In conclusion
, internet affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of young adults and youngsters by causing withdrawal and unrealistic expectations,
therefore
, parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles to play in offering solutions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Actor-observerPeople account for their own behavior differently from how they account for the behaviorof others. When observing the behavior of others, we tend to attribute theiractions to their character or their personality rather than to external facto v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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