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Describe a hobby you enjoy. You should say: how long you have been doing ithow often you do itwhat benefits you get from itand explain why you enjoy it. v.1

Describe a hobby you enjoy. You should say: how long you have been doing ithow often you do itwhat benefits you get from itand explain why you enjoy it. v. 1
In this modern world, the internet has though revolutionized the information sharing process but at the same time. It has given birth to various unanticipated problems that people are facing nowadays. This essay addresses these problems that result from the misuse of the internet. Also, proposes effective solutions to control them. So, vast technology and fraudsters take due advantage of this to commit a crime such as money theft, child abuse, cyber bullying and others. For example, internet hackers illegally access a database of customers to conceal their personal and financial information to defraud them. Moreover, these crimes are committed remotely by the criminals and it takes a lot of time for the policemen to identify such fraudsters. On the other hand, solutions that can help overcome problems arising due to misuse of the internet. One possible solution is that cyber laws should be well-defined on a global level to control online activities. Restrictions should be imposed on sharing a certain type of information which can have detrimental effects on the minds of individuals. Apart from this, advanced software technology should be used for securing the data of millions of online users. In conclusion, Several problems that can arise with the sharing of information online, but solutions are available too. Information sharing is a global concern as online information is available on the web. It is visible to everyone in the world and hence implementing international laws seem to be an effective solution. Hence, to control and reduce this problem declining further.
In this modern world, the internet has though revolutionized the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
birth to various unanticipated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are facing nowadays. This essay addresses these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that result from the misuse of the internet.
Also
, proposes effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to control them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, vast technology and fraudsters take due advantage of this to commit a crime such as money theft, child abuse,
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
For example
, internet hackers
illegally
access a database of customers to conceal their personal and financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to defraud them.
Moreover
, these crimes
are committed
remotely
by the criminals and it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for the policemen to identify such fraudsters.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
arising due to misuse of the internet. One possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is that cyber laws should be well-defined on a global level to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
activities. Restrictions should
be imposed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
a certain type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which can have detrimental effects on the minds of individuals. Apart from this, advanced software technology should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for securing the data of millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
users.

In conclusion
, Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that can arise with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
are available too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is a global concern as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available on the web. It is visible to everyone in the world and
hence
implementing international laws seem to be an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
.
Hence
, to control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
declining
further
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Describe a hobby you enjoy. You should say: how long you have been doing ithow often you do itwhat benefits you get from itand explain why you enjoy it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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