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In order to stay healthy, many people tend to exercise. Some people tend to exercise individually such as running and riding bicycles, etc. Some people tend to participate in group exercises such as team sports. Which one do you prefer, why? v.2

In order to stay healthy, many people tend to exercise. Some people tend to exercise individually such as running and riding bicycles, etc. Some people tend to participate in group exercises such as team sports. Which one do you prefer, why? v. 2
Generally, physical activities are crucial in human being’s life. There is an old quotation in Azerbaijan that “helthy mind is in healthy body”. In this regard, it is highly suggested that every human should allocate at least 15 minutes of his daily time to exercise. Some people are on the opinion that training alone is better that group work. However, I personally prefer group exercising. In the following paragraphs, I will elucidate my most convincing reasons. Fisrt and foremost, without shadow of doubts, group activities increase people’s social skills like communication. Participating in group exercises not only provide an apportunity to find new friends, but also it brings collaboration and cooperation among the members. For instance, I was an innert and anti-social person. One on co-workers invited me to our organization’s private gym club. Although, at first, it seem unpleasent to me, I took the attempt and participated in the club. After a while, I found some good friends in the office, and it promoted my social skills. The repercaussions of this positive attempt is tangible even in my recent activities. I realy changed my behaviour and learned me some unprecidented lessons. Consequently, it can be asserted that group exercising is conucive to attain some social skills and promots you daily life. Having discussed the issue from previous point of view, I want to focus on the subject from another perspective. Group sports provides an opportunity to get familier with healthy people. Not only does it bring joy and fun, but also it will help you to broaden your horizon. For instance, my older brothr is involved in many branches of sports, karatee, kik box, kungfu, to name but a few. He believes that every person is a treasure of experience by which you can acqiure some unforgettable lessons. Even though he is 27 years old, when he want to speak with people, they consider him as an sophisticated person that illustrated thoughts that are more than his age can supports. All of these advantagous ensue from his interaction with variety of people in the sport groups. Moreover, as I mentioned before, group sports brings happiness to the members. According to the statistics, people involving in group sports have higher wholsome and joy in their life, that is, they have healthier life style in comparison with the one who prefer to exercise alone. All in all, group sports promotes people life style and bring more happiness along with some unforgettable lessons. To put it in a nutshell, I profoundly believe that the merits of group exercising outwigh the disadvantages. Not only it inhance people’s social skills, but also it brings more happiness in people’s life. Moreover, It provides an oppurtunity to gaing knowledge and experience from a broad spectrum of people.
Generally
, physical activities are crucial in human being’s
life
. There is an
old
quotation in Azerbaijan that “
helthy
mind is in healthy body”. In this regard, it is
highly
suggested that every human should allocate at least 15 minutes of his daily time to exercise.
Some
people
are on the opinion that training alone is better that
group
work.
However
, I
personally
prefer
group
exercising. In the following paragraphs, I will elucidate my most convincing reasons.

Fisrt
and foremost, without shadow of doubts,
group
activities increase
people’s
social
skills
like communication. Participating in
group
exercises not
only
provide an
apportunity
to find new friends,
but
also
it
brings
collaboration and cooperation among the members.
For instance
, I was an
innert
and anti-social person. One on co-workers invited me to our organization’s private gym club. Although, at
first
, it
seem
unpleasent
to me, I took the attempt and participated in the club. After a while, I found
some
good
friends in the office, and it promoted my
social
skills
. The
repercaussions
of this
positive
attempt is tangible even in my recent activities. I
realy
changed
my
behaviour
and learned me
some
unprecidented
lessons.
Consequently
, it can
be asserted
that
group
exercising is
conucive
to attain
some
social
skills
and
promots
you daily life.

Having discussed the issue from previous point of view, I want to focus on the subject from another perspective.
Group
sports
provides an opportunity to
get
familier
with healthy
people
. Not
only
does it
bring
joy and fun,
but
also
it will
help
you to broaden your horizon.
For instance
, my older
brothr
is involved
in
many
branches of
sports
,
karatee
,
kik
box,
kungfu
, to name
but
a few. He believes that every person is a treasure of experience by which you can
acqiure
some
unforgettable lessons.
Even though
he is 27 years
old
, when he
want
to speak with
people
, they consider him as
an
sophisticated person that illustrated thoughts that are more than his age can
supports
. All of these
advantagous
ensue from his interaction with variety of
people
in the
sport
groups
.
Moreover
, as I mentioned
before
,
group
sports
brings
happiness to the members. According to the statistics,
people
involving in
group
sports
have higher
wholsome
and joy in their
life
,
that is
, they have healthier
life
style
in comparison
with the one who prefer to exercise alone. All in all,
group
sports
promotes
people
life
style and
bring
more happiness along with
some
unforgettable lessons.

To put it in a nutshell, I
profoundly
believe that the merits of
group
exercising
outwigh
the disadvantages. Not
only
it
inhance
people’s
social
skills
,
but
also
it
brings
more happiness in
people’s
life
.
Moreover
, It provides an
oppurtunity
to
gaing
knowledge and experience from a broad spectrum of
people
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay In order to stay healthy, many people tend to exercise. Some people tend to exercise individually such as running and riding bicycles, etc. Some people tend to participate in group exercises such as team sports. Which one do you prefer, why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
461 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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