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SPEAKING PART 11. ) Do you like dancing? 2. ) How often do you dance? 3. ) What motivated you to learn dancing? 4. ) How do you feel when you see somebody else dance? 5. ) When do people dance in your culture? 6. ) Do you watch TV? 7. ) What programmes do you see? v.1

SPEAKING PART 11. ) Do you like dancing? 2. ) How often do you dance? 3. ) What motivated you to learn dancing? 4. ) How do you feel when you see somebody else dance? 5. ) When do people dance in your culture? 6. ) Do you watch TV? 7. ) What programmes do you see? v. 1
Gaming is becoming a matter of concern among people as it is overwhelmingly popular in this digital era. As a result, playing games is now considered as e-sport including several regional and international sport events. While e-sport is believed to minimize the risk of injury, I suppose that it may encourage more youngsters to be involved in gaming addiction. On the one hand, there are several reasons why video game is beneficial to players. Firstly, the physical damages in the conventional sports will be vanished when engaging in e-sport. This is due to the fact that gaming is an indoor activity, which only requires the skills of player in controlling by keyboards and mouse. As a result, the dangers in physical injury might be reduced for the participants and the viewers. Furthermore, gaming may help children to develop some essential skills such as cooperation, which are often felt to be an excellent preparation for their adulthood; therefore, the discrimination between gaming tournaments and others should be deleted as they all have the positives for players. On the other hand, a few potential drawbacks of playing games can jeopardize the youth. First and foremost, the games are said to be extremely addictive to youngsters, meaning that the development of this kind of entertainment will distract them from their academic career and affect badly to their performance at school. Moreover, young people with a tremendous amount of time on gaming will have a sedentary lifestyle, which is the main cause of the rise in obesity. Henceforth, they will suffer from some cardiovascular diseases and heart attacks. In conclusion, while it can be argued that game tournaments bring various merits to the players, I think the detrimental effects of this e-sport can ruin the physical health and academic performance of young people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gaming
is becoming a matter of concern among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as it is
overwhelmingly
popular in this digital era.
As a result
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered as e-sport including several regional and international sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. While e-sport
is believed
to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of injury, I suppose that it may encourage more youngsters to
be involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
addiction.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why video game is beneficial to players.
Firstly
, the physical damages in the conventional sports will
be vanished
when engaging in e-sport.
This is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
is an indoor activity, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requires the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of player in controlling by keyboards and mouse.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
in physical injury might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
for the participants and the viewers.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as cooperation, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
felt to be an excellent preparation for their adulthood;
therefore
, the discrimination between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
tournaments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
should
be deleted
as they all have the positives for players.

On the other hand
, a few potential drawbacks of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can jeopardize the youth.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are said
to be
extremely
addictive to youngsters, meaning that the development of this kind of entertainment will distract them from their academic career and affect
badly
to their performance at school.
Moreover
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a tremendous amount of time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
will have a sedentary lifestyle, which is the main cause of the rise in obesity. Henceforth, they will suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cardiovascular diseases and heart attacks.

In conclusion
, while it can
be argued
that game tournaments bring various merits to the players, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the detrimental effects of this e-sport can ruin the physical health and academic performance of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay SPEAKING PART 11. ) Do you like dancing? 2. ) How often do you dance? 3. ) What motivated you to learn dancing? 4. ) How do you feel when you see somebody else dance? 5. ) When do people dance in your culture? 6. ) Do you watch TV? 7. ) What programmes do you see? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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