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<span class="postbody">There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones? v.2

<span class="postbody">There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones? v. 2
Mobile phone using has become a very common phenomenon and people mostly depend on this cell phone for communication. The cell phone is probably the most accepted and widely used communication device than any other communication device of the past time. Though cell phone causes many healths related problem as well as social and other problems but I can't agree with the idea that it outweighs the benefits. I believe people, from all levels of the society, never accept a technology that is not hugely beneficial. There are many communication Medias but none is as efficient and as live as a mobile phone. Moreover, the recent technological advancement has made the cell phone something more than a talking device. With a cell phone we can use the Internet, can play games, can store our memory by taking pictures and videos and can instantly share those memories with friends and relatives. And using those technologies cost us a very little in term of cell phone and network providers cost. We can talk to our friends and family members as much as we want because of the low cost of these cell phones and I guess that has increased our social affairs. Finally, the cell phone communications have helped to raise many small and medium level businesses in all over the world and have engaged a large portion of the population to be employed. Though I agree that, there are lots of adverse effects of using the cell phones. Drivers using cell phones while driving is a common cause of road accidents and overuse of cell phones can cause many diseases, from severe headaches to incurable cancers. The easy access to cell phones has violated our privacy and helped the criminals to be more organised. But I believe that those negative effects can be overcome if all of we become a little more cautious and be aware of the negative issues of overuse of cell phone using. Since we can't stop using the cell phone and find and alternative and it is easily possible to reduce the negative effects of cell phone using, I strongly opine that cell phone is a very useful device to all of us in spite of its some remediable problems.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
using has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common phenomenon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mostly
depend on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
probably
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
than any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
of the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
related problem
as well
as social and other problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it outweighs the benefits.

I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, from all levels of the society, never accept a technology
that is
not
hugely
beneficial. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
Medias
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none is as efficient and as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
Moreover
, the recent technological advancement has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
something more than a talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
. With a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet, can play games, can store our memory by taking pictures and videos and can
instantly
share those memories with friends and relatives. And using those technologies cost us a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and network providers cost. We can talk to our friends and family members as much as we want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the low cost of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and I guess that has increased our social affairs.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
communications have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to raise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and medium level businesses in all over the world and have engaged a large portion of the population to
be employed
.

Though I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, there are lots of adverse effects of using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Drivers using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while driving is a common cause of road accidents and overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases, from severe headaches to incurable cancers. The easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
has violated our privacy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the criminals to be more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects can
be overcome
if all of we become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more cautious and be aware of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues of overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
using. Since we can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and find and alternative and it is
easily
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
using, I
strongly
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
to all of us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remediable problems.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay <span class="postbody">There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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